Seeing What You Want to See
September 16th, 2008Most of the people I work with believe that credit cards, debt, and living in overdraft are the norm. Why? For some it’s because they don’t want to have to change what they are doing. They enjoy buying stuff and having anything they want whenever they want it. The immediate pleasure offsets the future pain. Of course, at some point, the pain surpasses the pleasure, which is when they call me.
Sometimes people keep on the same track because they simply can’t see the mess they are making. They only see what they want to see. The people around them who love them are panicking, but they’re blithely continuing to consume on credit.
I get a lot of letters from sisters, brothers, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, even children, asking how to help their loved ones wake up and smell the coffee. It’s a tough call. You see how hard I sometimes have to be with people. That’s because they need a real kick in the pants to see what I see, instead of what they want to see. But I don’t have to sustain an on-going relationship with my couples so I am risking nothing; you, on the other hand, have real relationships that could be damaged if you kick too hard.
The other day I found the following and it made me stop and think:
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
If, like me, you had no problem reading that paragraph, it’s because your brain only requires the first and last letter of a word to be in the right place to recognize the word correctly. Pretty cool, eh?
We’re wired to fill in the gaps. This helps us read gobbledygook, but it also helps us to justify our actions no matter how stupid they may be. We see what we want to see, looking at a Complete Mess and seeing Normal.
Just as our brain views the paragraph above as normal, we see a life of debt, living on credit, and skipping payments as acceptable as okay, because… (fill in the blank with any lame excuse.)
Often I hear from people that it doesn’t seem all that odd to live on credit because everyone around them is doing it. Really? So, to quote my mom, if everyone around you were playing in traffic, you’d be out there too?
Instead of hanging out with others like you to justify the actions that will eventually bring you to your knees, take a look at those that are different to see what they are they doing. How are they managing to live on what they make? How do they say no to the impulse purchases? How do they save?
I love this definition of INSANITY: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
If you want to get out of debt, continuing to use your credit cards isn’t going to get you there. Transferring balances from one form of credit to another isn’t going to either. And spending more than you earn isn’t going to get you there. There is no magical moment where you’ll wake up and all the debt will be gone.
If you’re looking at your friends, families, neighbours and wondering where they get all the money to go on exotic holidays, drive a new car every two years or buy beautiful clothes, it may be that they earn more than you do. Or they may be doing it on credit. Regardless, if you don’t want to be in debt, you have to stop seeing what you want to see and See the Truth.
Truth #1: Money is an exhaustible resource. When you spend it, it’s gone. So spend it wisely.
Truth #2: Credit is NOT disposable income. If you can’t pay for it in cash today, how will you pay for it on credit, with INTEREST tomorrow?
Truth #3: Spending more money than you have is STUPID!
Truth #4: If you don’t have enough money, you have two choice: Slash your Spending OR Make More Money.
Truth #5: If you don’t Save, you will have Nothing when you most need MONEY.
Truth #6: If you don’t Plan, you’ll get nowhere.
Truth #7: You are the person in charge. You have the power to create the life you want. Stop whining and DO IT!
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