First off, the Your Story, Getting to Debt Free pages are up and the first story has been posted. And while Emma was quick off the mark with her story, no one else has sent me one since. Get busy people. To get to the page, you can start on my home page or from my blog. The instructions for how to use the pages are in the top right corner under Telling Your Story.

I’ve been getting a lot of questions and comments recently about the need for me to do stuff for single people and parents without partners. I’m just curious as to why people think being single or a sole parent is any different than being partnered. Is it because there’s the perception that there’s loads more money available? What about all those traditional families where there’s only one income earner? No more money, just more mouths to feed.

The reality is that success with money has very little to do with how many people are bringing home the bacon. It’s more about how the money coming in is spent, saved and managed. Whether there’s one income-earner or two, having a budget, prioritizing and keeping track spending, and building a safety net applies. Yes, it can be harder when you are a sole parent and sole provider, but that’s life. Sometimes it sucks. But it isn’t any different from people who are partnered and having a crappy experience, and believe me, there are plenty of those. If you want to make your money work for you, you need a plan. You start with a budget and then you go from there. The budget is the foundation on which you build. Gail’s Budget Worksheet on the site that will let you plan what you do with your money, pour the amounts you should have into the jars and show you your percentages.

Speaking of the budget, people are also always writing me to find out how to apportion the money in their jars. They’ve seen the jars on TV, but haven’t taken the time to explore the website, so don’t know about the budget worksheet. Hey, I’ve provided the tools on the site, now those who need them must use them. So a little initiative, people, please.

Another question I get quite often is about what to do with money left in the jars at the end of the month. Some of those jars are meant to accumulate. Let’s face it, if you have $25 a month for clothes, then it may take a few months before you have enough to buy your kid’s new snowsuit. Ditto transportation, in which you accumulate your car repair money. Grocery money, too, should sit there for a while since there are big cost items (think laundry and cleaning supplies) that have to be replaced on a less frequent basis.  (BTW if you’re eating in restaurants, that’s coming out of the food/personal care jar.) If you have money left over in the entertainment jar, either you’ve budgeted too much, or you’re not having any fun. Fix that. And the Other jar… ah yes, the Other jar. People have no idea what goes into this jar.  It’s everything that’s variable that’s not in the first four jars so it may include kids’ allowances, pets, medical, and banking if you have money allocated in those categories. (I know, the banking money should stay in the bank, but it’s a variable cost and I had to put it somewhere! Just put it back in the bank.)

If after six months you have a lot of money left in the jars that you’re simply not going to spend, leave enough of a float in the jars to cover unusual expenses and by all means slap the rest against your debt (first choice) or into your savings. You should also revamp your budget numbers so that they reflect your lower-than-your-thought spending.

If you write me a question and I don’t respond, one reason may be that I’ve answered a similar question before. Check the Your Questions section. Also read the articles and the past blogs. Financial institutions have for years tried to convince me (as their resource) that their clients are pretty simple and must be spoon-fed, which is why so much of their material is basic and light. I’ve tried to convince them that their clients are smart and need more meat. All the people who won’t take the time to do some research on the site are proving me WRONG.

As for all the people who write to ask if I’ll do a private consultation, the answer is still no. It’s a time thing. You might be surprised at the number of people who ask this question. I get 15 or so requests a week. People are desperate for help. I know that y’all are. And I wish I could be everywhere, but I simply can’t. So that’s why I created the site. There are tools available and lots of advice. Now you just have to put your butts in gear.

There are people who want to do what I do and ask how I got into this. It was a very round about process, so I’m afraid I can’t help you there either. The best I can suggest is that you find an institution that you think shares your values, join up, and learn from them.

I’ve had one or two people object to my language, my attitude and my approach to working with people. If you don’t like me, that’s okay. Not everyone will. Just ignore me then. I don’t expect to be everyone’s cup of tea.

And finally, my response to this:

Oprah has had Suze Orman on a couple of times in the last month. She recommends having 6-8 months of living expenses saved up as an emergency fund. You tell people to put $100 a month. Is Suze being extreme?

I often get misquoted because some of the things I say are taken out of context. I, too, believe that you should have a healthy stash of cash available for emergencies. My rule of thumb is to have six months’ worth of Essential Expenses at the ready. I never tell people to put away $100 a month as a rule. However, that’s often where I start my fams off on the show, to get them in the rhythm of saving for emergencies.

People, money management requires that you do more than grab at a snippet here and there. You must make the commitment to learning about how money works and how to make it work for you. And while different “experts” have different amounts or percentages that they use as their rule of thumb, those are less important than the actual planning they are suggesting that you do. So if Suze says eight months and I say six, that’s way less important than the main message, which is “have an emergency fund.” And if Dave Ramsey says pay of your smallest debt first and I say pay off your most expensive debt first, that’s less important than the main message, which is “pay off your ficken debt!”

When you get caught up in the details, arguing one person’s strategy over another’s you’re participating in obfuscation. You’re focusing on the stupid little details so you can avoid the big message. The investment world has long used this device to keep people in the dark, presenting myriad messages that have only served to confuse Joe and Joanna Average about what to do. Don’t get caught up in this.

You have a brain. Use it. Listen to what the experts say, apply it to YOUR life, and make it work for YOU. We speak in generalities because we must. But you’re living your SPECIFIC life, and you should make a plan that works for YOU.

If there’s one thing that makes my fams successful, it’s that they have a plan that’s specific to their individual needs and that they can build on. When I leave, I give them their budgets and debt repayment plans, point them to my website and tell them to keep the thing alive by reviewing it at least a couple of times a year. We change. Our circumstances change. So should our money plans.

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