Into each life a little rain must fall. You’ve all heard that before, right? I add my own twist: And if you don’t have an umbrella, you’re gonna get wet! I usually use this addition when I’m talking about how important it is to have an emergency fund – an umbrella – to deal with gray skies.

I get a lot of letters from people who are dealing with very gray skies, and have no idea what to do. Most of them are angry. Some are sad. A few are resigned. Unfortunately, all of them are looking for an answer from outside of themselves. They’re looking for someone to give them an umbrella, or at least hold it for them.

I’ve worked with people who gamble and intellectually accept that their gambling is creating problems for them, but are unwilling to give up the “fun” they experience. I’ve worked with people who smoke, but complain that they don’t have the money to do the things they wish they could do with their families. I’ve worked with people who shop, buying total CRAP because it’s there.

Recently, a woman posted on my blog that she’d gone on ebay to sell her too-small clothes so she could buy her daughter, who had experienced a growth spurt, new clothes. She ended up spending $1,000 on a plaque and new tea-cups. “What now?” she asked.

At the crux of the problem is an unwillingness to accept personal responsibility for the actions we’ve taken. Your life is your own creation. If you feel like a victim, you have made it so.  So if you’re in debt from all the shopping you did a while ago, and now can’t afford to even buy a new pair of shoes for your kid, you first have to accept that YOU did this.

I keep saying that I believe you can have anything you want in life if you’re willing to do what it takes to create it.  If you’re life if full of crap, you first must accept that you had a part in creating it.  Skip the blaming. Pass on the justification. Refusing to accept responsibility robs you of your power.   

Once you’ve accepted that you had some small part in the creation of your reality, you can get busy taking action. Sure, you’re going to be scared.  You cannot allow the fear to stop you. Fear is a remnant of old conditioning that is a barrier to you being all you can be. Feel the fear and DO IT ANYWAY! Treat the fear as a signal that tells you to be well prepared and TAKE ACTION.

Success comes from action.  Don’t shy away from doing the hard work. Embrace it. Be committed to it. DO IT!

Through it all, you must learn to TRUST YOURSELF. Through your experiences, you have developed skills, strengths, intuition.  Use them. Seek the counsel of experts when needed but rely on yourself to make the final call. Become self-reliant. The ability to trust yourself is one of the greatest gifts you’ll ever give yourself.

Change is never easy. Sometimes it’s lonely. Often it hurts. And there’s nothing wrong with grabbing a cup of tea and a girfriend and having a good cry. But don’t stay there. Pick up, brush off, and get moving. You can experience joy by choosing to focus on joy.

You can have anything you want. I believe that. The question is, how badly do you want it?

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