Gails Blog

Have you ever heard me do my rant on Inertia? It’s for all those Duckies who are stuck in the muck; people so convinced they can’t that they don’t even try.

The Law of Inertia says that a body at rest will remain at rest until some force acts upon it. And a body in motion will remain in motion… well, you get my drift.

I believe that a lot of the problems people have dealing with life, their money, everything, stem from this simple Law of Inertia. It is so much easier to maintain the status quo than to change.

However, You cannot save $10,000 until you save $1,000. You cannot save $1,000 until you save $100. You cannot save $100 until you save $10.

If you want to build a financial safety net, you must START by opening a savings account and creating an automatic savings program. If you want to stop spending money you haven’t yet earned, you must STOP carrying your credit cards. You must change what you are doing or not doing, to something that works FOR you instead of AGAINST you.

I love change. Change is exciting. Change brings challenge, learning and a sense of New. Change is full of promise. Change is audacious. It takes guts to change. It takes real guts. And guts are something that seem to be in short supply. If you have them, you’ll make it. If you don’t, well, so sorry. Not guts, no glory.

So the question you have to ask yourself today is this:

Do I have the guts to change?

If your answer is “No” then go away. You’re just wasting your time here. This is a place of change, a place to be brave, a place to commit.

If the answer is, “Yes”, then what are you going to change? TODAY. What small step will you take to move you from being at rest to being in motion? What will you DO (not think about, not plan, not worry about, not whine about) to change what your life looks like? What will you DO?

If you think that financial inertia isn’t an epidemic, here’s something you should read:

Britons’ financial inertia is so great that the majority of people would not even bother picking up a free £5 note if it was offered to them, research has showed. 

And from the New York Times:

Are your finances making you feel guilty? Does every passing week leave you more determined to finally get your fiscal affairs under control . . . and more frustrated because you don’t know how or where to start?

Rest assured, you are not alone in your financial inertia.

If you have the guts to change, do you have the guts to say what you’re going to do in a public forum? If so, post a reply to this blog describing the step you are going to take TODAY to change something about your life. It can be financial. It can be wholistic. It can be small. No one is asking you to move a mountain… well, not in one push.

You can put inertia to work for you. Or you can just remain One Duck Stuck in the Muck. You decide.

If you think that debit and credit card fraud is something that happens to dumb people, let me assure you some of the smartest people I know have been hit. In the town where I buy my groceries, hundreds of customers of one of the supermarkets were hit when their debit card and pin numbers were stolen.

Closer to home, Chelsea, our production manager – and a very button-down chick and as smart as a whip – went shopping one day only to find her debit card had been skimmed and she was out thousands of dollars.

Here’s what Chelsea has to say about her experience:

My debit card was “skimmed” on the weekend - meaning someone illegally scanned my card and recorded my pin and went on a shopping spree.  It took them less than 24 hours to create a fake card and less than 36 hours to rack up 15 transactions, stealing about $3,000.  This is a real problem and not just something you read in the papers.

Here are some ways I’ve researched that you can prevent this from happening to you:

• Hide your pin.  Seriously hide it.  You may feel like a dork but just do it. 
• Watch your card.  If someone swipes it twice, ask why. Chances are they’re skimming it right in front of your eyes. 
• Check your bank statements online at least once a day.  Look for cash withdraws and purchases that look unfamiliar (duh). 
• Make sure you have minimum cash withdraw limits on your accounts.  Having a higher limit means that someone can’t go in there and clear out your account in one day.  I have a limit of $500 and sure enough, the bank told me, they attempted to take out more but were unsuccessful. 
• If you have overdraft protection, someone can take money that you don’t even have. 
• Take off access to accounts from your debit card that you don’t need.  Make all of your credit card payments online and then take the access to your credit card off of your debit card.  I had mine linked and they took a $500 cash advance from my credit card.  
• Use cash wherever you can (cue Gail cheering with glee).  Even some ATMs have been rigged with skimming devices so watch out.  I almost feel like I have to go back to the old fashion days of getting cash from a teller and using cash to pay for everything.

I’m pretty sure I know what store this happened at.  It wasn’t a shifty convenience store; it was a regular retail outlet store – nothing shady so it can happen anywhere.

I’m not trying to make you lose sleep every time you swipe your card but there are things you can put in place to protect yourself just that little bit more.  I don’t want this happening to anyone else.  This situation really stinks but I hope that by reading this you can be proactive and look into how your account is set up and be more aware of this issue.

These are all great ideas from Chelsea. Pass them on. And here are a few more to keep in mind:

• Watch out for “shoulder surfers .” Shield the keypad when using debit and ATMs.
• Keep your receipts. Ask copies of incorrect charge slips.
• Compare receipts with account statements. Watch for unauthorized transactions. Shred receipts after verifying the charge on your monthly statement.
• Carry only the cards you need. Extra cards increase your risk and your hassle if your wallet is stolen.
• Pay attention to your billing cycles. A missing bill could mean a thief has taken over your credit account.

I remember when I was growing up, everyone used to tell me, “You can’t have it all. You’ll have to choose.” I heard it again and again, from everyone. Everyone, that is, except my mother who told me, “You can have it all, you’re just going to have to work hard for it.” Thankfully, I believed my mom.

You know, I still hear that old phrase: you can’t have it all. I was told I’d have to choose between raising a family and having a career.  Tell that to my kids who, as toddlers, would come running into my home-office, bare-butt just before they jumped into the tub.

I was told “You have to decide whether you’re a child or a grown up, and behave appropriately”. Yeah, right? Fact is, I’m pretty button-down when it comes to the detail of my business and financial life. But you don’t get much more free-spirited than howling — arrrrooooooooooo — loudly for a husband lost in the aisles of the local supermarket.

So I have it all. I’ve got a happy home life, a lovely husband, two kids I’d die for, work that I love to do (even at 4:00 a.m. in the morning, which is when I often write) and I’m financially free.  My life is in balance.

Balance, of course, is the ability to deal with myriad priorities, giving each just as much attention as it deserves. Balance means not working so hard at accumulating assets that you fail to spend time watching the children play. Balance means weighing the need for future retirement savings with the need for providing your partner, your children, your friends with fun and exciting experiences in the present. It’s about taking care of today and tomorrow. And it’s about satisfying your soul while you challenge your intellect.

Now, it’s pretty hard to keep your sense of balance when reality bites — when divorce, widowhood, disability, or unemployment contrives to push you off kilter. “Balance?” you shriek, “How can I have any sense of balance when I’m just barely making it from day to day, paycheque to paycheque?”  Ah, yes. Well, that’s where the plan comes in.

Balance isn’t something that happens. It takes work. It requires that you create a blueprint for your life. And it requires that you take control of the components of your life that you can control, so when you stumble over one of life’s bumps in the road you can pick yourself up and move on. It means planning like a pessimist so you can live like an optimist.

By taking care of the financial parts of your life , you’ll be covered for any of life’s financial disasters. Whether you find yourself suddenly living on one income, having to care for your aging parents, or dealing with kids who have boomeranged home, you’ll be prepared, at least financially, to cope.

By setting goals, you’ll be laying the blueprint for how you want your life to look. You’ll be creating the balance with which you want to pursue your dreams and achieve your purpose.

When I had my children and I moved from being a career-focused glamour-puss to being a much more balanced, whole woman. My babies were the catalyst for reviewing my life and deciding what I wanted to expend my life’s energy to achieve. I decided on a little of this, and a little of that. Some career, some learning, time spent nurturing my soul and my babies. In the process, I proved my mom was right.

I learned I can have it all… I just can’t have it all at the same time. Maturity has brought the ability to prioritize, to give a little, to negotiate with myself and others so that I can do what’s most important at a particular point in time. When it looked like my Malcolm was going to have to be home-schooled because his Asperger’s Syndrome was too much for the school system to cope with, I quit all my jobs, packed up and moved to the country (to cut overheads) and got busy figuring out what I’d needed to know. Luckily, in the process, I found a school that was up to the job. 

I do consider myself to be a very lucky girl. But I also know that I’ve been willing to take advantage of opportunities — even to make opportunities — that would take me to where I wanted to be next. None of it has been accidental.

Think about what you want your life to look like five years from now. Who will you be near to? What will you be doing? And what steps do you have to take financially to get to where you want to be?

Decide that you’re not going to feel bad, overwhelmed, stupid, stressed, or anything else negative about your money anymore. Instead, you’re going to do something about it — no matter how small those steps — so you can achieve your own sense of financial peace.

Close your eyes, take a deep breath and repeat after me: “I am more than what my financial statistics say about me. I can have anything I want, if I prepared to work hard. Today I want to ….”

Go ahead, fill in the blank.

One of the issues I run into often when dealing with my fams is the arrival of a new babe and the income loss associated with taking maternity leave. In Canada, new moms can take up to 52 weeks off from their jobs and have those jobs protected for their return to work. However, all that time off doesn’t necessarily come with a full paycheque. Yes, there are companies that offer a “top up”, but it hardly ever is for the full amount of your before-baby pay, and it seldom lasts for the full year.

For people who do not receive a top-up, employment insurance (EI) benefits will provide an income. EI benefits are calculated as 55% of your normal earnings up to a maximum salary of $40,000.  So if you’re earning $40,000 a year, which translates into $3333 before taxes a month, or $769 gross a week, you’ll be entitled to 55% of that or about $423 a week, before taxes. Ouch!

On top of that pain is the fact that the first two weeks of mat leave are unpaid, so your income calculation won’t start until the third week. And since it’ll take between four to six weeks to get your first EI benefit deposited into your bank account, you shouldn’t be counting on that money to make your mortgage payment or buy food.

Moms aren’t the only ones who can take time off with your new Mini-Me. Dads can take up to 35 weeks of parental leave; however EI benefits have to be shared between the mother and father so they can’t both collect EI at the same time.

Adoptive parents also get to take parental benefits and fall under the same rules as dads.

So, now that you know you’ll only be getting a fraction of the income you’ve become used to, how are you going to cope?

Some of my fams have resorted to using their credit cards or lines of credit to see them through. Dumb! With a new long-term expense – that’s the baby - adding gobs of interest to the equation is no way to secure your financial future. I meet them when they’ve fallen further and further behind, becoming almost desperate at the hole they’ve dug themselves. And if another baby arrives soon after, OMG!

First, I’m going to say something that may not be very popular: just because we are guaranteed a year of mat leave doesn’t mean we have the right to take it. We only have that right if we’ve taken the time to plan for it, and have the money we’ll need to make ends meet without going into debt.

The best way I’ve come up with for people to see the implication of the mat leave income drop-off is to have them live on their mat leave income for the duration of the pregnancy. Yup. Live on less, and put the rest away for emergencies, to buy the stuff you’ll need for baby, or to start an education savings plan. If you can’t swing it for the months that you’re preggers, you might want to reconsider taking the full year’s mat leave.

The other thing you have to consider is which member of the family should take the most time with the baby. While, traditionally, women have done this, when the woman is the primary breadwinner in the family – and I’m seeing more and more of this - then the income loss to the family is felt doubly. You really do have to do the math to see who should take time off and how much, and how that will impact on the family’s financial situation.

And, of course, you have to make a budget that balances while you’re off, including a whole bunch of new categories that incorporate baby’s food, clothes, personal care (diapers, shampoo, cream), medical, toys, activities, and savings.

Don’t forget the costs associated with actually getting the baby here: hospital rooms and parking. If you have a health plan through work, you may be covered for semi-private room. If not, you may have to settle for sharing a room with a lot of other crying babies. And don’t bank on being in hospital for only one day. I had to have a c-section TWICE and they want to keep you longer. And if there’s any complication with baby, you’ll be “living” at the hospital until baby can come home. Don’t add financial stress to your already over-stressed life.

The arrival of your newest family member should be a time full of joy and excitement. But you can’t expect things to run smoothly if you’re a dope and don’t do some planning. People like to say they didn’t have any time to plan… that they were “surprised” by baby’s arrival. You’re kidding me, right? Nine (I actually think of it as ten) months isn’t enough time to figure out how you’re going to cope? Or maybe it’s that you don’t want to have to face some hard truths. Well, you have a baby to consider now, so it’s time to wake up and smell the poop!

Over and over I meet families who are spending thousands of dollars a year eating out. And over and over I challenge them to give up buying lunches and coffees and substitute food made at home. It’s often a hard sell. I’m not sure why since I love my own cooking much more than the food I can buy in a fast-food joint, though there are times when I have a hankering for something I don’t make particularly well (like Chinese hot and sour soup that I’m still trying to master). But, on a day-to-day basis, my food is waaay better than what one of my fams referred to as, “outside”food.

A couple or so ago, I handed a chick a lunch box with my face on it and told her to use it. While her hubby was the primary cook in the family and would often make her lunch, she’d leave it behind spending between $8 and $12 a day on food at work. Hello! $12 a day, multiplied by 5 days a week, multiplied by 50 weeks a year equals $3,000 a year. That’s right, THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS.

Creating a lunch for work does take some time and planning. The first thing out of most people’s mouth is, “I don’t have time in the mornings!” Really? Then get up earlier you Lazy! Are you telling me it’s not worth $3,000 a year to you (in after-tax dollars) to get up 15 minutes earlier in the morning? Give your head a shake.

Ken and I pack lunches for the kids  – yes, I still do this for my children even though they’re old enough to do it for themselves because I LIKE TO DO IT! We get up at 6 a.m. so we have time to shower, pack the kids’ lunches, and make Malcolm pancakes before school. I want to make sure they both have a healthful lunch, which brings me to my next point.

Another great reason for bringing your own lunch to work is so that you get to make healthier choices about what you eat. You control the ingredients. You control the freshness. You can be as creative as you want to be. One of our favorite salads is lettuce, red pepper, watermelon, and feta cheese. No dressing needed because the watermelon is so juicy. Yum! You’d be hard-pressed to find a more healthy or delicious salad.

Then, of course, there’s always the sandwich. My daughter hates soggy sandwiches so we end up packing each ingredient separately so she can assemble it at lunchtime. My son is mad about fruit so we pack him two or three different fruits every day. To keep everything cold we either freeze a juice box for the lunch bag or include a cold pack. In the summer, I fill a water bottle half way up and freeze it, then add fresh water to the top before adding it to the lunch bag. You can do this with homemade ice tea or iced-coffee too.

Salads and sandwiches, of course, are easy. But there are lots of people who want a hot lunch but don’t have a microwave at work or are on the road.

Hey, ever heard of this marvelous invention called a thermos? They’re brilliant. Soups, fried rice, chili, lasagna, just about anything can go into a thermos, so you can make extra at dinner and pack the leftovers for your next-day’s lunch. Alex used to complain that the food wasn’t really hot so I now pre-heat my thermos by pouring boiling water in first for a few minutes, then dumping the water out and adding the food that I’ve reheated really well. No more complaints.

Some people say they buy lunch because they love the social aspect of eating out. Hey, I’m as social as the next guy. But being social and going broke is DUMB. So pick one day of the week when you’ll eat out with friends and give yourself something to look forward to. Maybe you’ll choose Wednesday (hump day), or Friday to celebrate the end of the week. Whatever day you choose, lunching out once a week instead of five will cut your spending a ton.

Better yet, start a Lunch Club at work and pick one day a week when you each bring something to contribute to a group lunch. Or challenge each other to find the cheapest good food in your area, and take advantage of the Lunch Special. All-day breakfasts at $2.99 can’t be beat for value.

Be creative. The idea is to have a great life and save some money, at least until you’re debt free. Hey, if you don’t owe nobody nuttin’, then you can swallow your money to your heart’s desire. But if you’re in hock, then you owe it to yourself to use all the tricks at your disposal to get back into the black.

I can’t believe the number of people who pay outrageous fees, or settle for next-to-no interest, on their bank accounts. Whazzup with that? Many of us keep our money in a Big Six Bank, earning a pittance in interest and paying liberally for service. And then we make matters worse by not managing our money properly, so we’re in overdraft, bouncing cheques, or using banking machines that not our own and paying BIGTIME for it.

One of the main reasons people won’t switch accounts is laziness. Yup, plain and simple. It takes work. And not a small amount of work either. If you have pre-authorized debits, it can feel like torture trying to get them all switched over. But if all that’s standing between you and an account that pays decent interest without exorbitant fees is laziness, you need to give your head a shake.

Start by making a list of the things you actually need on your account. Do you write cheques anymore? How often do you go to the banking machine? (If you’re going more than once a week, you’re using the ATM as a wallet. Stop.) How many swipes of your debit card do you do in a month? Do you travel a lot requiring easy, cheap access to your money when you’re on the road?

Once you know the services you need, it’s time to go shopping to compare prices and features. You can hit the pavement, let your fingers do the walking, or head on over to the Financial Consumer Agency of Canada’s website and use the interactive tool to narrow down the alternatives

Here are five easy steps to make the switch once you’ve found your new account home

Step 1. Open the new account and get all the information you’ll need like the account number, your branch number, and the like. If you’re using cheques, order some.

Step 2. List your auto-transactions. What’s being automatically deposited or withdrawn from your old account? Look over your past few statements and make your list

Step 3. Reconcile your account. You have to account for every penny so you don’t have any nasty surprises during the transition. Those six post-dated cheques to the music teacher will bounce sky high if you close the account without telling her and replacing her cheques.

Step 4. First switch over all deposits and then switch over the withdrawals. That way there will be money in the new account when withdrawals start.

Step 5. Leave the old account open for about two months with some money in it to catch any missing deposits or withdrawals. Don’t worry about the balance in the old account is just sitting there wasting time. It’s protecting you from the aggravation caused by a poor memory. Be patient and when there’s been no activity for a month, consider yourself in the clear and close the old account.

People are always writing to me to ask for help. They want a private consultation. They don’t want to go on TV. Oh well. The only way you get me is on TV (since y’all are broke and could never afford my fee, even if I did take clients), so if you don’t want to do that, you’re SOL! Or you could just follow all the advice I give on TV and on my website and do it for yourself. Or you could get yourself an advisor and let her/him help you figure out what you’re doing wrong.

I find that most of the people who are determined to do something about their crappy financial lives DO SOMETHING about their crappy financial lives. They don’t moan, wring their hands, wail, complain, blame someone else, make excuses or whine. They get busy.

If I had a buck for every person I’ve heard say, “Well, we’ve tried, but we just don’t have enough money,” I’d never have to work again. (Yes, I HAVE to work. TV stardom doesn’t mean I’m wealthy, contrary to what some people believe.) So what is it with all the people who know their lives suck and just aren’t willing to do what it takes to make things better?

If you spend every cent you make, and then some, it may be that you’re just very good at spending money. You have a car that’s less than 5 years old. You have a house that’s bigger and better than the one you grew up in. You have expensive hobbies. You love to travel. You loooove to shop.

Ya know, there are people out there who, despite making a modest income, manage to squirrel away enough money to build up a decent nest egg. They have an emergency fund. They have some money set aside for their kids’ schooling. And they set aside the money they want to spend on new acquisitions or vacations BEFORE they put those purchases on their credit cards, so they can pay off their balances in full every month.

And there are people who have realized it’s time to pay for past mistakes: they suck it up, cut back on their spending, get another job, all in the name of getting their debt paid off so they can get back on track.

Do you realize how much of a difference even trimming your budget by $200 a month can make? But ask a princess to give up her cleaning lady and watch her brow furrow. Ask her knight in shining armour to give up digital cable and watch him shake his head furiously. Ask them both to give up their cell phones and you might just as well have asked them to lop off their left legs.

Ask either of them to get more work and you’ll hear a million excuses for why that won’t work. Family Responsibilities is one of my favorites. So you don’t have a responsibility to protect your children from your stupid financial mess and the disasters it will ultimately bring? Hmmm. The I-can’t-find-a-job excuse is another I hear regularly. I’ve had people tell me, “I sent out 20 resumes and even called two companies, but nobody is hiring right now.” Really? Or maybe they’re just not willing to hire anybody who won’t even put in the effort of TRYING to get the job.

And then there’s my absolute favorite:  I don’t have time. Gee, you have time to shop. You have time to watch TV. You have time to talk on the phone, go to the gym, have a beer with the lads. But you don’t have time to make the money you need to get out of debt? Maybe what you don’t have is a sense of what’s really important.

People don’t want to do without. They believe they are entitled to the luxuries they see other people enjoying. They believe there must be some mystery-solution that will fix the problem FAST! So they say dumb things like, ”Can’t you just give me a budget that’ll make everything work?” Really? A Magic Budget? One that will balance without having to cut back on anything or generate any more money? Hmmm.

The only thing that’s going to get anyone out of a financial mess is to stop doing the BAD and start doing the GOOD:

• Stop spending money you don’t have.
• Stop flying by the seat of your pants.
• Stop making excuses.

• Start living within your means.
• Start taking responsibility for your past mistakes.
• Start making changes: pay more off your debt, save

 And stop whining. It’s your life and you can make it anything you want it to be. If it sucks, you may have had a little something to do with that.

I got this letter over the weekend. I just LOVE it. Read it and laugh:

I called my bank to ask for a consolidation of my credit card debt and my line of credit. The did a credit check and said than although I had never defaulted on any payments, all my cards were at or near their limit and I was only paying down the interest so I didn’t qualify. I said that was precisely why I needed a consolidation loan; to reduce the interest so more of my payment was going towards repayment of capital. She said she had gotten into debt recently because she and her husband had to pay her father in laws expenses while he was terminally ill and expected to get the money back in the will but didn’t. She suggested I do what she did- go to Wells Fargo Financial- she got her $30,000 dollars in debt consolidated at 33% interest. I said why would I do that since it is higher interest than I am paying. She said it is one easy payment and if you pay on time for one year, they reduce it to 19% for the rest of the term of the loan. What is wrong with this picture?

Okay, so here we have a banker suggesting that we take a consolidation loan at 33%. Really? And that we use a Lender of Last Resort. Really? And that we settle for getting our rate all the way down to 19% when the going rate on an unsecured loan is 12% less. Really? Is it any wonder that we’re confused about what our options are and what we should do when we find ourselves in a hole and want to make it better? Borrowing At Any Cost isn’t smart, regardless of why you’re trying to borrow.

Here’s what you should do:

First, call and negotiate with your existing creditors for a reduction on your interest rates. Tell the card companies that you’re close to the edge and are considering bankruptcy, but that you really want to pay back the principal owed. Ask for a break. You want them to waive the interest in return for post-dated regular payment.

While that works a lot of the time, sometimes it doesn’t. Or sometimes the rates don’t come down enough, in which case you need a consolidation loan. If your bank won’t help you consolidate, go and ask another lender. Sometimes our own bank takes us for granted, but another bank that would like the biz will cut us some slack. Ask for an installment loan with a maximum three-year term. Offer any other business you may have: your retirement plan, your mortgage, your accounts, whatever you have to show the new lender good faith.

Or you could do a balance transfer. Get a low interest credit card (yes, I know, but this is in the name of repayment, not more charging) and transfer part of each expensive credit balance to the new card. You want to do two things:

• reduce the cost on your borrowing, and
• get the balances on those cards below the 60% mark so you’re not seen as being too close to your limits.

Get another job. That’s right. If you’re ever going to get out of debt you need a source of money you can devote to debt repayment. If you’re already working 70 hours a week, then find a way to cut back on your spending - YES IT CAN BE DONE - to find the extra money to get out of debt. Stop buying everything but food, and that in smaller quantities.

Many of the Lenders of Last Resort, or the credit card companies that have the must outrageous rates and fees are U.S. companies. I don’t understand why Canadians have embraced these companies, making them fatter on our backs. They don’t have to follow Canadian rules because they’re U.S. companies. They don’t have to follow U.S. rules because they’re selling products outside their own jurisdiction. The result: through our own ignorance or stupidity we are being suckered into paying through our noses.

If you have a U.S. credit card - that’s any credit card issued by a U.S. company - take it out of your wallet and cut it up. I don’t care how great a “deal” you think you’re getting, it’s going to bite you in the butt. And if you’ve been dealing with a U.S. lender, give your head a shake. If you can’t get financing here in Canada, you have to ask yourself if - perhaps - you shouldn’t be borrowing. Using a Last Resort Lender is dumb, dumb, dumb. Are you?

Wedding season is around the corner. Girls are going to be strutting their stuff in dresses that cost a bagful of money, and boys are going to wonder what all the fuss is about. The equivalent of a home downpayment will be spent on flowers, food, booze, and myriad other must-haves for the Big Day. Some people will spend DAYS getting married, hosting family and friends, and maxing out their credit.

Natasha, who does my makeup on the show, also does weddings and is looking forward to a banner season. Since we’re shooting on Tuesdays and Wednesdays this year, she’s free Fridays (Friday is the new Saturday) to make up all the brides and bridesmaids who need her skillful touch. And some won’t be satisfied with having her do the deed on the day; they’ll want a dry-run to make sure they’re happy. Money’s no object.

If there’s one theme running through the stories of the newly weds I’ve worked with it’s that a wedding that takes FOREVER to pay off is dumb. People will do the darndest things on their wedding days, or in the month’s running up to it. I worked with one woman who spent far more than she could afford just to prove to her much-despised family that she’d made it. Hmmm. Great way to start a new life with your partner, huh? Another couple I worked with had to invite half of Europe to keep the parents happy. But the parents weren’t kicking in to have all the family and friends flown in. Whazzup with that? Whose day is this anyway?

When you’ve been married as often as I have, you not only get good at wedding planning, you’re pretty determined to do it just the way you want. When I married my keeper-husband, Ken, we created our own vows and we were married in a park. It rained, an auspicious sign I was told. Convention was nowhere in sight.

Whether you’re getting married for the first time, or you’re jumping into the breach yet again, you’ll want the perfect wedding. But perfect doesn’t have to be expensive. It just has to be fabulous. So why are people prepared to take on gobs of debt to have a party that meets a bunch of other people’s expectations?

Your extraordinarily happy day doesn’t have to be the most expensive day of your life. Perfection comes at a price - not only financially but emotionally. You only have to take a gander at some of the Brides-Gone-Berserk TV shows to see just how off the rails you can go.

The first step to making your wedding work is to set some realistic expectations for what you want from your special day. You and your better-half-to-be should talk about what’s most important to you and your families. The next, and equally important, step is to establish a spending plan within which you will work. These two steps are closely tied together. What you want from your wedding will set the tone for how much you spend. And how much you have to spend should guide you in setting some realistic expectations. Making your dream wedding a reality shouldn’t mean digging a debt hole that will strain your new marriage; far better to eliminate some of the less important things. With a little creativity and some legwork you can make the day memorable in the most charming ways without a hangover of unmanageable bills.

If you invite the world and his uncle to your wedding, you’re going to be on the hook to attend a b’zillion weddings (and buy presents) when your friends and family reciprocate and invite you in return. I’ve just worked with a couple that, in the first year of their marriage, went to seven weddings. She was very embarrassed as she told about writing out a gift-card that included a cheque she knew would bounce. Wow! Why would people do that to themselves?

Everyone wants a visual record of this special day. But photographs or video can cost a small fortune: $1,200 to $5,000. If that’s out of your budget, get creative. Provide your guests with disposable cameras. Everyone taking pictures of everyone else having a fabulous time will create a memorable record of the event. If you have a friend who is especially good with a camera, request her services as a wedding gift. 

Spend $350 on a limo, or hitch a ride with mom and dad.  Spend $500 - $1,000 on a wedding dress, or let a friend or relative make it for you. Better yet, go retro and borrow a dress from a girlfriend, aunt or your mom. There now, you’ve taken care of the “borrowed” category (as in something old, new, borrowed, blue.)

Choose seasonal flowers rather than imported or green house flowers in your bouquets and centrepieces. Flowers that are not in season send costs up, up, up. Use your bride’s maid’s bouquets to adorn the head table and use the aisle flower arrangements from the ceremony as table centerpieces at the reception.

The reception is another good place to cut costs. For a small gathering of 30 people or so, have your reception at a restaurant - just don’t book it as a wedding reception. Reconsider the time at which you’re having your reception. A lunch, afternoon tea, finger-foods in the early evening or desert table will be far less expensive than the hip-of-beef-approach. You don’t have to offer every alcoholic beverage available under the sun. Stay away from mixed drinks. Go with a couple of wines (one white, one red) and a couple of beers (one domestic, one imported) and you’ll save tons.

While this last tip might not save you any money, it may save your sanity. Be ready to delegate jobs when people ask, “What can I do to help?” Write every job that needs to be done on index cards. Then when people asked what they can do, give them a card. Also consider naming a friend as your Wedding Director. On the big day, any questions, problems or complaints should go to the Director so you’re free to enjoy your wedding.

Review your spending plan frequently to keep yourself on budget. Here’s a simple budget worksheet that’ll show you the average spent, which you can use to manage your expenses.

It’s really easy to let enthusiasm spiral into huge costs. But with a little creativity and a willingness to do it yourself, at least in some areas, you can have the wedding day you’ve always dreamed of without having to promise away your first born.

Okay, I’ve done it. A Woman of Independent Means has been updated, edited, uploaded…

and now it’s ready to be purchased. You asked for it, so BUY IT!

Home ownership is The Big Dream for many people. According to the Stats Man, income is the determining factor in terms of whether or not a body will own a home. No surprise, really. After all, home ownership is a big financial commitment and without enough income there’s no way to swing the dream into reality. How much income is dependent on where a person wants to buy a home.

According to the Stats Man, families with a household income between $50,000 and $80,000 are getting into homes of their own, mostly in rural areas or small towns where 71% of people between the ages of 25 and 39 owned their own digs. Again, no big surprise, since the cost of buying a home in a major city has gone through the stratosphere. In Toronto, about 53% of people in this same age group owned; in Montreal the number was 48%, and in Vancouver 54%.

Ultimately, the amount you earn will dictate how much home you can afford to buy. The other factor that will influence how much home you can afford is the amount of the downpayment you’ve managed to accumulate. For people who want to use the RRSP Home Buyer’s Plan, read this so you know what’s what.

Zero down has become all the rage, but it isn’t a smart financial decision since the more money you put down the house the less money you will have to finance. And since less than 20% down means mortgage insurance, your no-downpayment strategy can be really expensive.

The interest rate you get on your mortgage can make a huge difference in terms of how much your home ends up costing you. The lower your interest rate, the lower your payment and, ultimately, the lower the overall cost of your home. How interest rates affect your costs isn’t just affected by market conditions and the current economic climate; it’s also affected by the type of mortgage you choose, your payment frequency, and by your credit score.

The next thing you’ll have to decide is what you will buy and where it will be. Will you live in the city, in suburbia, in the bush? Will it be a condo, a townhouse, a semi-detached or a mansion? There are almost as many options as there are people to buy them, and what floats one guy’s boat will sink another’s.

It makes sense, before you enter into what will likely be the most expensive purchase of your life, that you get some help. There are lots of people waiting to take your money in exchange for your sage advice. Who will you choose to help you?

Have you got your closing and incidental costs covered? Some experts say to estimate 1.5% of the value of your home for closing costs. Others say more. You need to know what to expect so you can make a budget that’s realistic.

The prospect of home ownership is very exciting. But it can also make your tummy flip and your head swoon. Being prepared is the best way to sleep at night while you wait for moving day.