Hello from Sicily
I popped into the site to see how things were going. Glad to see y’all are in good voice. Boy, that Bargain blog stirred up a lot of chat, eh? Isn’t it interesting how our histories and the things we hold as important (work = reward) have such a stong hold on us? Some of us can’t even entertain the idea of doing it differently, we’re sooooo convinced we are RIGHT! What’s RIGHT is what WORKS! So if it is working for you, more power to you. If not, no matter how convinced you are that you are RIGHT, you might want to take another look.
So here I am in sunny Sicily — not at ALL what I expected. I came to Sicily thinking: sunny, quiet, quaint. I got sunny, noisy and traffic! Nobody stops in Sicily. Whether you’re walking, scootering or driving, you just slow down long enough not to hit the next guy and then keep going. Wow! Ken, who contemplated renting a car before we got here, decided that would be an act of lunacy.
The children are bored. Sad to say, there’s not much to see and not much to do that interests them. We had a small melt-down yesterday as we arrived at a “flea-market” to find NOTHING but old crap and more traffic. We hustled back to the hotel, pledged our love for each other, had a nap and then went out for dinner, which was lovely.
We’re looking forward to Rome, and I’m about to make some reservations for some of the things we want to see… yes, reservations are required.
One of my objectives in bringing my kids to Europe was to show them that the whole world does not function like North America does. We’re very spoiled in North America. And everything is very orderly — especially after you’ve spent a few days listening to drivers sit on their horns at all hours of the night in Sicily. We barely blow our horns in North American. We’re polite. We take turns. We have access to just about anything we can imagine. The rest of the world isn’t like that necessarily. When I told my 14-year-old, Alex, that part of the trip was to expose her to how the rest of the world lives, she retorted, “Well tell me that BEFORE we go on holiday next time, and I’ll stay home.” Hmmm.
Very often we have different objectives when we set out on a particular path, but we haven’t taken the time to communicate them clearly to each other. Ken and I communicate really well, most of the time. And we’ve done a lot of talking — usually at 4 a.m. — as we’ve plotted our lives and changes we’ll make. I’m finding the challenge of dealing with kids who are growing up and getting a mind of their own daunting. I’m in the game, but I find it hard. I’m making progress.
I’ve gone from feeling irrelevant — it’s hard to let go of your babies, isn’t it? — to feeling like a guide. And I’m still glad I chose Italy as my first introduction to “the rest of the world” for the children. Sicily may be a bust, but it has taught us all some really important lessons. It’s reminded us what a “fixer” Ken is. There’s a problem, he fixes it. Sometimes we take this for granted. In Sicily, he’s fixed a few things that have made us smile and thank him with full hearts. It’s brought Alex and Malcolm closer together since there’s no one else to get between them. She’s taking good care of him, and he’s watching and learning. And it’s taught me that regardless of how well you think you’ve planned, life is good at throwing you curve-balls. And your job is to hit ‘em out of the park. Sometimes you swing and miss. But you keep swinging until you connect.
Ciao!
March 13th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
My one and only trip anywhere was to Italy just last year! I too thought it would be a good introduction to how Europe is different (without being too scary different!). Rome was great! Aliove and fast and pretty clean. So much was just free to explore! (BTW Buying tickets for the colesseum at the palace in the ruins by-passes the horrendous line-ups just outside the colleseum). My little group explored without a plan and saw the Barbarini Gallery, St Peters cathedral and wandered the arches, fountains, churches, and ruins all in one day! Exhausted feet! One thing you M-U-S-T see is the Pantheon. It is small, but breathtakingly perfect in its architecture!!!!! Again, free to see!
March 13th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
I hope Rome brings you more fun and adventure.
Thought of you today - we paid off one of my small student loans and rolled the monthly payment onto a bigger student loan. It was a very exciting phone call. And when we want to be bad, financially, we say, what would Gail say?
That usually stops the impulse.
March 13th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
I ,too, think of Gail when I am considering spending money on something which I really dont need. Today, as a matter of fact, I saw a faux plant arrangement that I thought would look rather nice in my kitchen hutch….thought of Gail…and recited her, “You dont have the good sense god gave a goose”….haha!…Hey, it worked, and I didnt spend the money!
March 13th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Gail, some advice for you - make sure you have some unscheduled, unabashed fun on your trip - not everything has to have a purpose of be a life lesson to be worthwhile!
March 15th, 2008 at 8:26 am
And everything is very orderly — especially after you’ve spent a few days listening to drivers sit on their horns at all hours of the night in Sicily. We barely blow our horns in North American. We’re polite.
Gail, I know you must have been to NYC before Sicily:) Love, love, love NY but horns and not stopping till you hit someone?:)
Sorry it’s not all going to plan but what does and the glory of any family holiday is, 20 years from now the kids will remember it all very fondly (you have to wait the manditory 20 years for any kid pay back, that’s the rule, it’s written… somewhere)
I’m afraid my only trip to Rome was a waste of my parents hard earned money. It was an organized school trip, we were all 16, the year was 1973 and as the Alitalia(?) flew across that imaginary Countries border line, the airplane crew brought out the drink cart. The alcoholic beverages that is. The legal drinking age in Italy was (is?) 16. From that point on till the flight home, I’m not sure any of us remember what we saw/did. Sadly youth is wasted on the young!
You’ve reminded me of one of my favorite lines from John Lennon’s song to his son… “life is what happens to you, while your busy making other plans”. So enjoy the rest of your holidays and don’t kill the children, you’ll need them for your old age:)
March 15th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
And a-planning I have been and doing so well with the debt reduction until this past week. Dental appointments and requiring braces sooner rather than later results in a review of the previously rosy get-out-of-debt-soon plan I’m afraid.
Gail, how on earth can someone prepare for some of these events when they’re just getting started? I’ve been paying down debt agressively AND putting a modest amount into emergency savings and my RRSP again, but why is it that when the sky turns blue a big grey cloud can often come in and ruin even the best laid plans?
March 15th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Michelle,
Another important reminder (I KNOW about this):
A budget is not set in stone. It is a living thing which must be readjusted as proven unrealistic or unsustainable!
I maintain my belief: 1-2% of net income into the flex-jar (I know it will be spent but I do not know what until I sigh…). It helps restructuring the plan.
If you have a benefit plan, reread it. Ask the orthodontist about their payment plan.
Gail: Where does the 15% ‘rule’ for debt repayment come from?
March 16th, 2008 at 8:28 am
Dental appointments and requiring braces sooner rather than later results in a review of the previously rosy get-out-of-debt-soon plan I’m afraid.
Michelle, precription/dental have thrown me for a loop as well. After doing my on line budget, we have nothing left, minus nothing in fact, a big minus and then, on top of it, there seems no way to pay for both of our monthly precriptions AND dental work, from the “other” jar! The dental thing is the biggy, seems everytime we turn around the dentist is finding imaginative new ways to spend $2000 a month on our mouths.
I will have to work harder on the budget, there has got to be a way to work this out, I just haven’t found it yet.
March 16th, 2008 at 8:33 am
Oh, I forgot to mention the orthodontist. As Marie suggested, they often will set up a payment plan with you. There are still many folks that are not covered and the orthodonists know this and many of them are reasonable. When 2 of our 4 needed braces at the same time, our doctor allowed for monthly payments, equal cheques for 4 years. At the time it was still a lot of money but looking back, that was really great of him to do. He did not charge interest on the balance of course, so much better then if we had to have taken out a 4 year loan from the bank, he saved us a lot of money right there. There must be others that will accept payments, check around.
March 16th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
We’re going to do the monthly payment route at a little over $200/month for almost 2 years, catch our breaths, and do it all over again with the youngest. But the first $1500 has to be paid upfront, and these braces have to go on in 4 months. We knew it was coming, but paying things off took precendence over saving for them. Ah well, the best laid plans fall off the rails every now and then right?
You know what thought got me through this week’s financial bomb? The 2 chants of “This too shall pass” and “At least I’m making money to be able to pay money”. Well, a bit has to go on credit cause there’s no getting blood out of a turnip, but I’ll stab at that debt as soon as the other card is paid off. Then there’s summer camps to pay for and money owing in taxes and, and…time to breathe and be thankful that I’m making money to pay money! I just look forward to saying I’m thankful I’m making money to SAVE money some day soon.
Keep on saving and paying things down everyone. One day at a time, plus a few hiccups, and we’ll all be on easy street with no debt dragging us down. It was awfully tempting to just go buy some new Spring clothes after thinking that a couple of hundred dollars won’t make a smidgen of difference to what will be going out this month! I stayed my course though, so I feel better, even if my closet is starting to carry echos. Time to go fill the jars (maybe leaner for the next couple of months though).
March 16th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
I guess this is when Gails says to earn an extra $75/week …
Stick to the course!
Good luck!
March 17th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Something else to consider.. and I feel awful saying this but… make sure they NEED the braces. Growing up I knew one girl in our school (a whole school) that really needed them, thus got them. The rest of us some how servived with our slight overbits. Now a days it’s like perfection is manditory and if you do not provide it for your child, you are a monster.
Both of our girls did need the work done on the front teeth, no question. When and orthodontist suggested our son needed braces for his “bite” I just thought… what the, we have paid for two and he has beautiful teeth. No way!
Now he works with OC transpo, can afford dental work, if needed, because he and his wife have dental plans but even with that, his teeth require no work.
There is necessary work and then there is cosmetic work, I do not live in LA, my husband is not a rich movie director, there are things we just should not feel guilty about. So, there is that to consider seriously.
So, if you see their teeth are horrid and need the work, fine. If the they are telling you when your child is 80 he will suffer with his overbit, tell them to take a hike!!!