Comments on: Gremlins R Us http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/archives/184 Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:28:49 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Ajana http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/archives/184#comment-2983 Ajana Thu, 07 Aug 2008 02:49:46 +0000 http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/?p=184#comment-2983 By exposing it to daylight, my "Having-More-Means-A-Better-Life" Gremlin has died a death. This essay by Paul Graham always brings a smile [http://www.paulgraham.com/stuff.html] as it reminds me of what little value our stuff really has. Quote: "In fact, worse than worthless, because once you've accumulated a certain amount of stuff, it starts to own you rather than the other way around. I know of one couple who couldn't retire to the town they preferred because they couldn't afford a place there big enough for all their stuff. Their house isn't theirs; it's their stuff's." By exposing it to daylight, my “Having-More-Means-A-Better-Life” Gremlin has died a death.

This essay by Paul Graham always brings a smile
[http://www.paulgraham.com/stuff.html]
as it reminds me of what little value our stuff really has. Quote:

“In fact, worse than worthless, because once you’ve accumulated a certain amount of stuff, it starts to own you rather than the other way around. I know of one couple who couldn’t retire to the town they preferred because they couldn’t afford a place there big enough for all their stuff. Their house isn’t theirs; it’s their stuff’s.”

]]> By: Nicky http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/archives/184#comment-2980 Nicky Thu, 07 Aug 2008 02:29:50 +0000 http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/?p=184#comment-2980 I totally agree with Gail's blog. I am realizing how stuff clutters my life and wastes my money. However, my husband does not feel the same way. He feels he never got the stuff he wanted while he was growing up and now is compensating for himself and our children by buying things we don't need. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to talk to your partner about this when they don't want to hear it? I have forwarded him some of Gail's blogs about how stuff doesn't make you happy and peer pressure to "keep up with the Joneses", but when I try to talk to him about them later he says he just skimmed it but didn't really read it and doesn't remember what they were about. I totally agree with Gail’s blog. I am realizing how stuff clutters my life and wastes my money. However, my husband does not feel the same way. He feels he never got the stuff he wanted while he was growing up and now is compensating for himself and our children by buying things we don’t need. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to talk to your partner about this when they don’t want to hear it? I have forwarded him some of Gail’s blogs about how stuff doesn’t make you happy and peer pressure to “keep up with the Joneses”, but when I try to talk to him about them later he says he just skimmed it but didn’t really read it and doesn’t remember what they were about.

]]> By: Kim http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/archives/184#comment-2979 Kim Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:51:30 +0000 http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/?p=184#comment-2979 Fully agree - sometimes having less can mean a better life. I've been working on decluttering my junk, and I can tell you than it most cases, I'm better off without the particular toy / object of desire. Now when I'm in a store, I ask myself: * Do I need this? * Do I have the money for it? * Is the total cost of purchasing it cheaper than the cost of renting it? (Factoring in that each purchase needs to be stored, maintained, dusted... etc etc.) * Could I find a similar item used for less? Just thinking a purchase over, 9 times out of 10, means I don't buy it. Like Gail, I think that "Your Money or Your Life" was the most important book I've read. It literally changed everything about how I deal with money. Fully agree - sometimes having less can mean a better life. I’ve been working on decluttering my junk, and I can tell you than it most cases, I’m better off without the particular toy / object of desire.

Now when I’m in a store, I ask myself:
* Do I need this?
* Do I have the money for it?
* Is the total cost of purchasing it cheaper than the cost of renting it? (Factoring in that each purchase needs to be stored, maintained, dusted… etc etc.)
* Could I find a similar item used for less?

Just thinking a purchase over, 9 times out of 10, means I don’t buy it.

Like Gail, I think that “Your Money or Your Life” was the most important book I’ve read. It literally changed everything about how I deal with money.

]]> By: Stephanie http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/archives/184#comment-2978 Stephanie Wed, 06 Aug 2008 20:06:51 +0000 http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/?p=184#comment-2978 I know more than a few people with this gremlin. I am in the process of buying a house and as much as I would love to have a brand new flat panel TV there is no chance you will see me buying one since my parents are giving me a perfectly fine 27" standard television. It isn't fancy but it also isn't costing me a dime. I remember as a kid my grandmother telling me that "we may not have a lot of money but we are rich in love". I to the having more and being less happy concept (or at the least no more happy than anyone else) it isn't totally suprising. I also frequent the MSN money site and more than a few of contributors mention the idea that as you make more money you also feel like you don't make enough because you naturally adjust to the change in income. I have been very carefull when I get raises to decide where the additional money went. My first raise coincided with me being elgible for a 401K so that raise started going towards my retirement and I have is set up as a % so that my contribution increases each time my pay increases. When ever I want the big ticket item I price the item along with anything that will need to be purchased with it and start saving. I know more than a few people with this gremlin. I am in the process of buying a house and as much as I would love to have a brand new flat panel TV there is no chance you will see me buying one since my parents are giving me a perfectly fine 27″ standard television. It isn’t fancy but it also isn’t costing me a dime. I remember as a kid my grandmother telling me that “we may not have a lot of money but we are rich in love”. I to the having more and being less happy concept (or at the least no more happy than anyone else) it isn’t totally suprising. I also frequent the MSN money site and more than a few of contributors mention the idea that as you make more money you also feel like you don’t make enough because you naturally adjust to the change in income. I have been very carefull when I get raises to decide where the additional money went. My first raise coincided with me being elgible for a 401K so that raise started going towards my retirement and I have is set up as a % so that my contribution increases each time my pay increases. When ever I want the big ticket item I price the item along with anything that will need to be purchased with it and start saving.

]]> By: julie http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/archives/184#comment-2976 julie Wed, 06 Aug 2008 18:31:05 +0000 http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/?p=184#comment-2976 Beautifully written, Gail. Thank you for such a thoughtful post. "I am more and more inclined to reduce my baggage, to lop off superfluities. I become more and more in love with simple things - a small house, a tent on the shore. The show and spendour of great houses and elaborate furnishings oppress me, impose upon me. They fix the attention on false values, they set up a false standard of beauty. They stand between me and the real feeders of thought and character" John Burroughs, "The Gospel of Nature" 1900 Beautifully written, Gail. Thank you for such a thoughtful post.

“I am more and more inclined to reduce my baggage, to lop off superfluities. I become more and more in love with simple things - a small house, a tent on the shore. The show and spendour of great houses and elaborate furnishings oppress me, impose upon me. They fix the attention on false values, they set up a false standard of beauty. They stand between me and the real feeders of thought and character”

John Burroughs, “The Gospel of Nature” 1900

]]> By: Ciara http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/archives/184#comment-2975 Ciara Wed, 06 Aug 2008 18:11:45 +0000 http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/?p=184#comment-2975 I agree with most of your post Gail, but I don't entirely blame the marketing and commercial community. I think you (and the study authors) have missed one very important area. I think a lot of this has to go back to our childhood and how our parents allowed us to spend and/or buy. When I was a child, my parents did not buy eveything I wanted (and saw) in a store. I don't remember 99% of what I wanted when I was a kid. As people grew older and they were told "no" time and time again, they probably thought, when I grow up, I am going to buy whatever I want, whenever I want - and I am going to do the same for my kids. I have seen kids in stores who demand their parents buy them anything and eveything they touch. Kids don't appreciate anything if it is always handed to them and later they don't have to work for it. Gail, I like how you are teaching parents to say "we have $1 - choose one item". Kids can't have everything they want - a lot of kids don't have what they need. Great post I agree with most of your post Gail, but I don’t entirely blame the marketing and commercial community. I think you (and the study authors) have missed one very important area.

I think a lot of this has to go back to our childhood and how our parents allowed us to spend and/or buy. When I was a child, my parents did not buy eveything I wanted (and saw) in a store. I don’t remember 99% of what I wanted when I was a kid. As people grew older and they were told “no” time and time again, they probably thought, when I grow up, I am going to buy whatever I want, whenever I want - and I am going to do the same for my kids. I have seen kids in stores who demand their parents buy them anything and eveything they touch. Kids don’t appreciate anything if it is always handed to them and later they don’t have to work for it.

Gail, I like how you are teaching parents to say “we have $1 - choose one item”. Kids can’t have everything they want - a lot of kids don’t have what they need.

Great post

]]> By: kristin http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/archives/184#comment-2974 kristin Wed, 06 Aug 2008 16:54:41 +0000 http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/?p=184#comment-2974 i think that as people we have very primal needs that need to be met. with civilization etc we don't need to hunt, shelter is kind of a given for most. so without any turmoil and strive to survive, we die off inside. i think that's what happens to lotto winners once they come off the high. they've quit their jobs, can have anything they want without earning it, and there is no passion, no primal need for survival. not that we all have to be in crisis all the time, but there must be a goal or a long term need to plan and survive. i think that as people we have very primal needs that need to be met. with civilization etc we don’t need to hunt, shelter is kind of a given for most. so without any turmoil and strive to survive, we die off inside. i think that’s what happens to lotto winners once they come off the high. they’ve quit their jobs, can have anything they want without earning it, and there is no passion, no primal need for survival.
not that we all have to be in crisis all the time, but there must be a goal or a long term need to plan and survive.

]]> By: Frugal Trenches http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/archives/184#comment-2973 Frugal Trenches Wed, 06 Aug 2008 16:44:15 +0000 http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/?p=184#comment-2973 Brilliant post and such a good reminder to all of us saving, that we shouldn't expect money to make us happy! I've read studies which show once you have enough to live comfortably - feed & house your family, have enough in savings for a rainy day (say 6 months income, and ability to pay into a pension and have the yearly vacation, even a minor holiday i.e. a week @ a cottage, then you are no happier being able to afford 10x that! BTW I think I read the happiness number was people earning 50K (Cdn) - now obviously if you are pretty in debt 50k won't go far, nor will it necessarily in Toronto, where 75k may be more realistic! For me it's pretty simple: no debt, 6 months income saved in emergency account, 15% of my income saved into retirement pension (plus employer top up) and a yearly holiday and I'm perfectly content. I don't need stuff, expensive beauty treatments, new clothes each month, to eat out or order in. I don't need an SUV or expensive hobbies or luxury weekends away with friends. Brilliant post and such a good reminder to all of us saving, that we shouldn’t expect money to make us happy! I’ve read studies which show once you have enough to live comfortably - feed & house your family, have enough in savings for a rainy day (say 6 months income, and ability to pay into a pension and have the yearly vacation, even a minor holiday i.e. a week @ a cottage, then you are no happier being able to afford 10x that! BTW I think I read the happiness number was people earning 50K (Cdn) - now obviously if you are pretty in debt 50k won’t go far, nor will it necessarily in Toronto, where 75k may be more realistic!

For me it’s pretty simple: no debt, 6 months income saved in emergency account, 15% of my income saved into retirement pension (plus employer top up) and a yearly holiday and I’m perfectly content. I don’t need stuff, expensive beauty treatments, new clothes each month, to eat out or order in. I don’t need an SUV or expensive hobbies or luxury weekends away with friends.

]]> By: Karen http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/archives/184#comment-2972 Karen Wed, 06 Aug 2008 16:20:49 +0000 http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/?p=184#comment-2972 I am always mindful of Wordsworth - "getting and spending we lay waste our powers" - two centuries ago. Not much has changed, except of course for the advent of consumer credit. I would like to see more of the study that compares high income women and low income women, for a couple of reasons. High income women often have careers that bring them great pleasure - some of my best moments have occurred when I was on the clock - and yes, I have had the blessing of not one but two careers I enjoy. The other is that many low income women are that because they can't find work or enough work to keep them going. The default then becomes "kicking back", not because they choose leisure, but because they can't choose work. I'm not saying the study is wrong - only that I would like to see more information about it. If I had a choice between 20 grand a year and one third of my time for fun and 100 grand a year at something I enjoyed and 19 percent of my time for fun, I'll go with 100 grand. It's not the stuff - it's being able to visit family in other provinces, saving to travel, the money to enjoy my favourite hobby, not to mention the roof over my head that isn't ostenacious. Twenty grand doesn't buy a roof anymore. But as for the rest of it - wowzer. Stuff is heavy - I always ask myself - is it cute? Does it need dusting? Do I have one? If the answer to any of the above is yes, I don't need it. I am always mindful of Wordsworth - “getting and spending we lay waste our powers” - two centuries ago. Not much has changed, except of course for the advent of consumer credit.

I would like to see more of the study that compares high income women and low income women, for a couple of reasons. High income women often have careers that bring them great pleasure - some of my best moments have occurred when I was on the clock - and yes, I have had the blessing of not one but two careers I enjoy. The other is that many low income women are that because they can’t find work or enough work to keep them going. The default then becomes “kicking back”, not because they choose leisure, but because they can’t choose work. I’m not saying the study is wrong - only that I would like to see more information about it. If I had a choice between 20 grand a year and one third of my time for fun and 100 grand a year at something I enjoyed and 19 percent of my time for fun, I’ll go with 100 grand. It’s not the stuff - it’s being able to visit family in other provinces, saving to travel, the money to enjoy my favourite hobby, not to mention the roof over my head that isn’t ostenacious. Twenty grand doesn’t buy a roof anymore.

But as for the rest of it - wowzer. Stuff is heavy - I always ask myself - is it cute? Does it need dusting? Do I have one? If the answer to any of the above is yes, I don’t need it.

]]> By: Tracy J http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/archives/184#comment-2971 Tracy J Wed, 06 Aug 2008 15:14:52 +0000 http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/?p=184#comment-2971 Thank you Gail... thank you for putting it so eloquently. Thank you Gail… thank you for putting it so eloquently.

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