Staying Motivated
As I was checking into my hotel last night I was greeted by a lovely young man who expressed some frustration at not being able to beat down his debt. With about $12,000 in debt, some at the highest interest rates going, he was frustrated. He’d tried to get a consolidation loan but had been turned down because the bank said he was already overextended. (We’re going to see more and more of this as credit gets tighter.) He was wining the battle, but said, “It’s hard staying motivated.”
Yup, when it feels like you’re progressing in teeny tiny steps, it can be hard to stay motivated. Just the thought of tackling a mountain of debt can stop the less brave from even beginning. It can seem like a massive undertaking to jump-start yourself into action. It can seem even more daunting to maintain your focus when your progress, although steady, seems really slllooooooow.
So what can you do to help you stay motivated? Try some of these ideas and see what works for you.
Make a List. Write down your financial goals in small increments.
So if you want to pay off a $3,000 balance on a store card you might write:
Transfer balance to a lower-cost card
Earn an extra $200 a month
Trim $100 from my budget
Pay $300 a month toward card in August
Pay $300 a month toward card in September
Pay $300 a month toward card in October
And so on…
As you achieve each of your individual steps on your list, you can stroke them off. Man, what a feeling as you watch your page fill up with stroked-out achievements! And if you start doubting your progress, if you start feeling demotivated, you can look back at the success you’re having and kick yourself in the pants.
Tell Everybody What You’re Trying to Do. One of the biggest problems we have is the fact that money is still a BIG SECRET. Whazzup with that? I mean, if we’re prepared to talk about our most private matters, why the big secret when it comes to money? Because we judge others using money as a benchmark. And we’re afraid they’re going to judge us. STUPID. Let’s face it, we’re all making mistakes and if we don’t share our mistakes it means we have to make them all over and over, never learning from our friends or family. And keeping secrets means we can’t count on our friends or family to pull us back from the edge when we come close to falling. But if we tell people we made a mistake, if we ask them to help us stay on the straight and narrow, then when we become tempted we can use our Safety Network to pull us back, to help us stay motivated.
Keep a Journal. Don’t moan. I know not everybody likes doing this, but it works. Write down what you’re doing, what’s working, what’s not, and what you’re going to change, and you’ll find yourself closer and closer to your goals.
Eat the Frog! If you have things you need to do that you find easy to procrastinate, then do them first! It’s called “eating the frog.” It’s a quote from Mark Twain who said if the first thing you do in the morning is eat a frog, nothing else will seem as hard for the rest of the day. So, Eat the Frog!
Keep Your Goals Visible. Post them on your fridge, on the bathroom mirror, on the wall right behind your computer. Put them where you see them ALL THE TIME so you can stay on track.
Measure Your Progress. This works for kids. And it works for grown-ups too. Draw yourself a thermometer graphic to show how much debt you have to pay off. As you pay it off, colour your way up the thermometer. There. You have a visual record of your progress to keep you motivated.
One of the most important lessons you will learn is that no matter how well you prepare and how many precautions you take, there will be times when you’re thrown off track by an unexpected setback. That’s life. Having friends to urge you on, going over what you’ve achieved on your List, taking pride in your progress chart are all ways to get yourself re-motivated to get back on track. And you can use my blog to share your frustration and accept encouragement. Whatever you’re facing, it can be a temporary setback or you can let it permanently derail you. It’s up to you.
July 17th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Dear Gail,
July 17th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Dear Gail,
Thank you for sharing your wonderful insights so freely! My husband and I are paying down our debt with more commitment and more positive, life-affirming goals than ever before since starting to watch your show.
I’ve had some pretty major hurdles in my life these past few years and it shows in my finances. When stress happens, I know now that I have sought safety in buying “stuff”. I am way more conscious of my spending behaviour and if I lapse in judgement, I am much quicker to get to the truth of the matter and take action instead of reacting within an emotional state.
You are a phenomenonal teacher and an inspiration. Talk about using one’s life to make the world a better place! Thank you for giving so generously of your time, your wisdom, and your humour. You have made an indelible impact on my daily life and, I’m sure, the peace and success of my family’s future
Just wanted to say thanks. You just never know who you’re going to touch in this life of ours!
With gratitude,
Vanessa in Halifax
July 17th, 2008 at 11:50 am
I am a big fan of lists… HUGE! Especially goals and “to do” lists. When I start feeling overwhelmed by the many things that need to be done, I write everything I can think of down. As I put it down, somehow it calms me and puts it into perspective. Even if the list is long, I can sift through it and pick things rationally instead of the giant swirling mass of things flying around my head making me panic! If I remember to do this later in the day (after running around like a chicken with my head cut off for a while) I will sometimes even write things that I have already done (partly so I can cross it off right away) mostly to remind myself that though there is still lots to do, there are some things that have been taken care of.
Gail, this blog of yours helps my list making quite a bit! I have added (more regularly) menu planning for the week (from my favourite grocery store’s flyer) and once a week I make a plan to tackle a financial procrastination point: asking and agent how I can reduce my fees (or even look for a better product) on banking, life insurance, home/auto insurance and long term savings. By putting them on my list only once or twice a week as you bring them up on your posts, it has taken the dread out of the simple and educational money saving chore!
July 17th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Gail,
Initially when I looked at your budget worksheet, I thought that it didn’t look much different than my own which I have been using for years. Since in my one job I get paid once a month, budgeting has enabled me to keep money for the fixed expenses when needed. However, it was the disposable income that I didn’t and don’t manage well.
I finally plugged in my numbers to your budget worksheet and honestly, it made me see my own budget in a different perspective. If I use the money jar for the variable expenses and put that amount in weekly and not touch my money in the bank for anything other than the fixed expenses then I will actually be saving money for household maintenance which I have never done before. So, beginning in August, I am going to use YOUR jar system, not my own and I will let you know how I do. I feel you are teaching this ‘old dog’ new tricks and I hope it works!
July 17th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Life gets in the way sometimes, doesn’t it? I am on track (barely), but Lord there have been challenges! Honestly, it’s enough to drive a girl to tears.
So once I’ve had a good cry, accept that I can’t control or plan everything, it’s time to move forward and plod on. Unforseen dental costs, car repairs and a vet bill will be managed (barely) while I still contribute to my RRSP and repay my debt. And the frustration and resentment I felt for having to dip into my savings is wearing off. I’m only about three months into conquering my debt so it’s hard to withdraw a chunk of those savings already. In the end, however, I decided that it beats asking my parents to bail me out.
I will tweak my budget, see how I might tighten my belt further and maintain my determination to follow through on my plan if it kills me! And I have to say, my daily visit to this site is great motivation to stay on track even if it feels like I’m clinging onto the track for dear life. Thanks Gail!
July 17th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I love that frog-eating line. Ribbit.
July 17th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
I agree that we should “measure our Progress”. The total amount of debt would discourage people from achieving our goal for sure! But if we could see how much we could pay down each month, that’s a big motivation indeed!
And that’s how I keep myself motivated.
July 17th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
i thought i was the only one who wrote on their to-do lists things that were already done!
i feel a little less lonely,
ha.
k.
July 18th, 2008 at 12:18 am
Just crossed of one debtor off my list - now only one left. Yippee!
For that final one (and it’s a biggie), I’ve done an area graph which has the debt in red. The area of the red will decrease as the amount owed goes down. I like visual reminders and with this graph I actually see how my debt is shrinking month by month to nothing.
July 18th, 2008 at 8:11 am
Gail, I love your show and about 6 weeks ago I talked my husband into starting your jar system and using your budget worksheet.
Our budget has been going well and we are saving money I knew we could. We don’t have much debt (less than $2,500, although no savings either) but I knew we were frittering away our decent salaries on “stuff” and that we could have much better RRSP savings and regular savings.
However, I guess I didn’t involve my husband enough, plus he knows we are not exactly in financial trouble, because he is committed to the budget some of the time, but not when it doesn’t suit him. I am naturally much more frugal than he, but he doesn’t see why he should deprive himself of certain things. For example, tonight he is going out for dinner and drinks after work, followed by a stag & doe for a guy from work (I don’t know the people so am not going). This morning, since I will be replenishing the jars tonight, I gave him the entertainment money we have left, around $40.00, and he was complaining, saying why couldn’t he take it out of our account since he just got paid yesterday. I said what’s wrong with this money? He said he didn’t know how much he would need. I suggested he pick his dinner carefully and not spend too much on drinks. He wasn’t too happy about that. I get the feeling I am handling this the wrong way, but what I suggested he do is what I would do in the same situation. Any suggestions?
Thanks everyone
July 18th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Ajana, Congrats on getting down to one debtor left! You’re on your way now! It must feel good. : )
Nicki: Have you set aside spending money for each of you in your budget? If you each have a set amount for spending each week, and you know you have something special coming up, you can budget for it.
July 18th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Nicki, try reminding him that the account is just where the money is kept, the budget is what says where the money is going. So when he wants to take more than you have allocated for entertainment ask him what category he wants to take the money from. He could take it from groceries, for example, if you are both willing to trim back on what you’re eating that week. Or he could take it from gas if he’s willing to walk or bike to work. Or he could take it from wherever else he’s willing to give something up. Some people have a lot of trouble with the idea that money is an exhaustible resource, so as long as there appears to be money in the bank they think they can spend it… never considering the bills that are yet to be paid. Good luck. g
July 18th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
my hubby and i have separate spending accounts (for fun money). on the first of the month X dollars goes in their. everything else is joint but we felt it important to have this separate for your very reason. i didn’t want to police my husband and hand him his lunch money on the way out the door. and visca versa. i don’t want to be monitored on every little thing if i was responsible and saved for it. and he’s a big boy, i’m a big girl, we can save it up and blow it on whatever we want. if it’s not there when we need it than tough. mind you it has never been an issue. often we pool our saved money and do fun stuff together.
you both need to respect the system that you plan to use in your family. if you aren’t both on board, it’s going to be a struggle to do and a bitch to maintain. maybe there is a compromise in their somewhere?
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:26 am
Thanks for the input. Sometimes I find it difficult to find the middle ground. My husband and I have agreed he will get a weekly amount towards his personal entertainment or fun and if he fritters it away because he has it (which is often what he does) and doesn’t save it for things he wants to do on his own that come up, he will be out of luck, unless I agree with the expense. That saying about money burning a hole in your pocket applies to him. Thanks again