Impulse Spending
Most of the families I work with have a problem with impulse spending. Putting them on the Magic Jars and giving them the budget binder to write down everything they spend goes a long way to making people change their spending patterns. If you think you might be an impulse shopper, the first step to controlling it is monitoring your urges. It’ll only take a couple of weeks of thoughtful note-taking to give you a good insight on how and why you shop.
Get yourself a small notebook, keep it handy, and every time you get an urge to shop, practical or not, write it down. Note where you were, what you wanted to buy or did buy, and how you felt. Note every time the Impulse Monkey squawks at a prize, whether it grabs you online, at a store, or when you’re flipping through a flyer. No matter how often that Impulse Monkey chatters in your ear, make a note of it.
Whether you buy the item or not, keep track of the Monkey. Many times our urges are subconscious and we can’t control our spending if we aren’t aware of it.
Once you’ve determined that you have a problem, you’ll have to take some drastic steps to get the Impulse Monkey off your back.
Avoid the mall, the discount department store, the dollar store – anywhere you can spend money. I’ve actually just started working with one fam where the Lady of the House was dropping over $150 a month in a dollar store. OMG! Just going into a store practically guarantees you’ll buy something on impulse. Find something else to do to replace your shopping habit.
When you do go shopping, go with a list. In the grocery store, use a list. In the home-decorating store, use a list. In the mall, use a list. You’re not allowed to buy anything that isn’t on the list. No matter how good the deal is. NOTHING.
Leave your credit cards at home and only shop with cash. If you don’t have the means to overspend, it’s amazing how much self-control you can show. If online shopping is a problem, you may have to throw your credit cards behind the fridge as an additional deterrent.
Do what my friend Natasha does and keep a long-term list too. If you have an urge to buy something, first you have to put it on your Thirty-day List. You can buy it (if you have the money) after 30 days, assuming you still want it and something else hasn’t jumped up and captured your Impulse Monkey’s attention.
Finally, use the Grocery List technique for all your “needs.” You make a grocery list to stop you from buying everything the Impulse Money squeals at, right? Well, make a Clothing List, a Home Décor List, a Kids’ Toys List… you get my drift.
Let’s look at the clothing list in more detail to see how this would work. First, you list what you must have in your wardrobe: number of shoes, shirts, suits, jeans, jackets, scarves, belts, purses, coats. Then go through your wardrobe and take inventory of what you already have, marking it off your master Clothing List. What’s left is what you need to complete your wardrobe. That’s your Clothing List and you can’t buy anything that isn’t on that list.
Another keen trick is to make a deal with yourself that every time you buy something, you must get rid of something. This avoids falling into the trap of simplifying and then going shopping to replace everything you miss. It also makes you prioritize. If you must have that new doodad, what are you prepared to give up?
Buh-bye Impulse Monkey. Buh-bye.
July 16th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
It’s a killer, that impulse monkey. Thankfully mine is a little tiny lemur that tugs on my ear from time to time…. generally not loud enough to get into too much trouble. Actually I am going to correct myself, the little monkey can be very loud and persistent occassionally, but it goes in phases and can be tamed. Buyer’s remorse with me is swift and leaves me physically ill, sometimes before I even finish ringing it up at the till. My cure: I find letting the monkey HOLD the desired item for a while, giving me time to ponder how it will fit in my life, what it really costs, what it is that I like about it, and if I already have something that works that I will need to get rid of….. it really dampens the desire, (monkeys have short attention spans) and if I still think it’s worth it, I wander around with it some more! I can talk my monkey out of almost anything! LOL
On the other hand…. My sister must have a big, loud BABOON on her back! (I know I am always talking about her, and I apologize — I worry is all.) Her impulse shopping is crazy!
“It was such a good DEAL, I just couldn’t leave it there!”
Sis even buys clothes that aren’t in her size because of the great prices (gasp). She always talks about how much she “saved” by buying these things, (justifying the impulse as loud as she can over the screaming monkey’s victory cries?). The thing that always surprises me is that while I am suffering watching her unload the bags of booty, she is positively glowing as though they were conquests. I am happy to see her so happy, so I have a hard time reminding her that she already has X amount of pretty blankets, Y amount of cute little girl boots, Z amount of hand bags. They are very nice things she gets, and the prices are great IF SHE NEEDED THE STUFF! Monkey business.
July 16th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Gail (or others), do you know if anyone’s ever tried to apply the relapse prevention methods used in treating alcoholism, drug addiction, sex offenders, overeaters, etc. to the problem of overspending? There are echoes of the cognitive-behavioural therapy principles of relapse prevention in your post.
I imagine pathological destructive spending would be tough to treat for some people, since we have to spend to get by, much like we need to eat to survive. A meeting of the minds could produce a gangbuster rehab program — get a CPA and a behavioural psychologist together to lick the problem and build for the future!
July 16th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
I wrote about something very similar today. There is something incredibly wholesome about planning our purchases instead of buying with only seconds or a minutes thoughts!
July 16th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
I am a big fan of the carry it around and think about it method. Also when I am going in for just a couple of items I always pick up the hand basket instead of the grocery cart. If you have to lug it around the store you will be amazed at how fast you really don’t need the item that isn’t on your list. I also use lists a ton. I like the wish lists on websites since you can wait to purchase either untill you have enough money, you have thought about or decided you really don’t want it. When I grocery shop I always go with a list and budget. As I add items to my cart I right down the price on my list. Before I check out I add up the cost and if I’m under budget I will grab any of my staples (flour, sugar etc) which happen to be on sale.
July 17th, 2008 at 8:09 am
I always make a grocery list, and I have often picked up extras resulting in an extra $20 or $30 spent. Recently I decided I have to stick to my list. What a great feeling when you only spend what you intended to spend.
This last 2 weeks I put NOTHING on my credit card and paid cash for all my purchases. I kept every reciept just to see what I bought. I did really well. I’m very pleased with myself.
Now to see if I can stick to my new frugal ways. : )
July 17th, 2008 at 8:31 am
**2nd thought…
Elton John is coming to my city in concert for the 1st time. I really WANT to go but tickets start at $100! So for 2 of us to go we are looking at at least $220 after surcharges, plus parking & gas, and drinks etc.
As much as I’ve always wanted to see him, I’m starting to look at it from the perspective that I could buy a good quality DVD of Elton in concert and enjoy it anytime I want for likely under $30.00.
Plus I’m already going to 2 concerts that I’ve paid for so I’m trying to reason that even though it’s not everyday I get the chance to see Elton, I can only afford so many concerts.
July 18th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
Update - I did not buy the tickets. Didn’t even try! Now he’s sold out and I’m glad I didn’t spend the money that I didn’t have in the first place.