Sad Shopping
I grew up listening to adages like, “Money doesn’t make you happy.” When I was married to my first husband and trying to figure out where I was going to get the money to go to work the following week, I figure all that stuff I heard was a load of b.s. Over time, I’ve worked hard, traded-in husbands, and discovered that money – more and more money – doesn’t make you happier. Yes, too little money can make you miserable, but once you have enough to meet your needs, more money doesn’t increase your sense of wellbeing.
Lots of people think if they could just get their hands on a couple of million bucks, everything would be GREAT! Not-so-much. Loads of people who have won lotteries have found themselves back in the financial toilet in no time flat.
So let’s turn the equation around for a minute. If we’re willing to accept that money doesn’t make you happy, is it possible that sadness makes you spend more?
Yup. A study by researchers from Harvard, Carnegie Mellon, Stanford and Pittsburgh universities found that when people are sad, they spend more money… way more money. The researchers concluded that when people are sad, this sadness could trigger extravagant tendencies. Nicknamed the Misery-is-not-miserly phenomenon, it’s clear that having access to credit when you’re bummed out can end up costing you big time.
Maybe the most disturbing part of the study was the fact that the sad people – who were made sad by watching a sad movie – spent more that 4 times what the not-sad people spent, they had not a clue that it was their sadness which prompted them to splurge. They were completely unaware of how their own emotions were feeding into their consumerism.
That’s us: bummed out and dumb about it, so we go Cheer-Me-Up Shopping. Argggg.
So what’s a body to do? It would seem that if you’re feeling sad you should stay out of the stores, leave your credit cards locked in your freezer, and carry the minimum amount of cash. Or you could do something nice for someone else, and that’ll make you feel better and won’t cost a cent. Offer to cook a meal for a harried neighbour. Water someone’s garden. Put a dollar in someone’s meter. Little things that take your focus off YOU and your misery and move your focus outward.
It would also seem an investment in getting happy might just pay dividends on the financial front. Happiness isn’t always about getting what we want. Nope. In my experience, happiness is about wanting what we have. So instead of making lists of all the things we want or wish we had – even silent lists in our heads – maybe we should be making lists of all the things we have that we want. An inventory. Then we can focus on what’s there instead of what’s missing the next time we see a tear-jerker movie, break up with friend, bang the car, yell at our kids, fail to get the promotion… whatever it is that’s triggering our sadness.
So, what are you going to do the next time you feel sad and are battling the urge to splurge? You better make a plan now, since one won’t come easily once you’re in the dumper. And if you don’t have a plan, you’re only going to be sadder when the credit card bill arrives!
July 4th, 2008 at 5:40 am
What’s that saying? I know money can’t buy happiness but I’d like to be given the chance to find out for myself.
When I feel (rare) the urge to splurge, I think of what a hassle it is. Getting to the shops. All the crowds. Hot, humid weather. Rude shop staff. Can’t find anything to fit. Can’t find anything I really like. Etc.
I need new shoes. Yes, need. But I can’t be bother with the hassle. it seems my cunning plan has slightly backfired!
July 4th, 2008 at 7:37 am
Gail, I must say that you are right. I had been unhappy for some few years. So despite that I lived with parents and should have saved tons of money from rent, I spent much more than I should — coffee at Starbucks, eat out, etc. I moved out from my parents 2 years ago and only then did I get serious about paying off my student loans. Only then could I “find” the extra money to do so!
Next year I should be debt free and I don’t fancy getting into a huge debt again unless it’s to buy a property, which I don’t think I would do for a few years at least.
July 4th, 2008 at 7:55 am
I’m learning to take out my frustrations on exercise instead of food or my credit cards. A walk listening to your favourite tunes can really help.
July 4th, 2008 at 9:43 am
it’s true, you spend so much when you’re sad and down and depressed. i konw i did. i went out every night and bought so much stuff (ie. “the-i-just-broke-up-with-my-boyfriend-so-i-deserve-x” stuff) and so much money was spent!
even now, i’m having a bad week and all i want to do is go out and buy a new outfit…but i’m resisting.
July 4th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Money can’t buy happiness, but it lets you be unhappy in nicer places.
July 4th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Mae West said it best: “I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor - and honey, rich is better.”
July 4th, 2008 at 11:19 am
rich in what?
how much of which currency?
July 4th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
I blogged about something very similar yesterday!
Great post!
July 4th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
My depressed sister in law has shopped her family out of a nice home and into living in a camper, not a trailer, but a camper. She quit her job and exclusively shops and looks for stuff they “need.” I have to admit I like nice things too but I don’t want to have to live in a camper just so I can wear $300.00 shoes to make myself feel better!!
July 4th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
I’ve realized that a lot of the “stuff” I’ve purchased over the years is because I’ve been sad or depressed, wants becoming needs and still not feeling content or “complete”. Since I moved north almost two years ago, I haven’t watched news since and have recently severely started limiting my TV watching. I honestly can’t think of a darn thing that I WANT (from Outside), so I’m obviously pretty darned content with what I currently have. I have a life I can afford (although I’m still working a little on that) and everything I have makes me happy: my job, my friends, my extra-curricular activities, my surroundings, my little apartment, my beautiful cats…
Glenda, I’m really sorry to hear your SIL is in such a depressed state. It sounds like it’s time for some type of intervention before things get even worse. Depression is a serious thing.
July 4th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
maybe my brother-in-law is sad? ….. he is buying a NEW truck today because the old (paid for) one needs an exhaust…. (!)
I am freaked out buying a new pair of shoes even when the old ones have the soles flopping off, and he is getting into their overdraft ANOTHER $26G over a backfiring noise? He must be very sad indeed.
PS Gail, the intervention idea fizzled, they seem happy to spend themselves into agony.