Gails Blog

In the pilot of Til Debt Do Us Part, we worked with a couple named Bill and Tasia – a lovely couple who were having some trouble coping with all the changes that families have to go through as they grow and change. One of the big questions they were grappling with was whether Tasia, home with two children, would go back to work since they were clearly in a financial mess. She wanted to stay home with the kids. And they’d agreed to that when they’d gotten together. But Bill was feeling a lot of pressure being the only breadwinner and was losing his resolve.

I’m about to begin working with another couple facing this dilemma. Lots of people face it. You’ve heard me say it makes no sense to go into pregnancy with your eyes closed, clueless as to how you’ll cope financially. Well, the same goes for making the decision to stay home with the kids or go back to work. It shouldn’t be a guess. It should be based on the black and red of your situation.

I am NOT making a case for or against staying home with the kids. I’m telling you to make your own best case based on having thought it out ON PAPER based on the numbers. Yup. Another math lesson.

So what numbers will you be working with? Hmmm. Let’s see…

TAXES. A lot of the income you will make will be eaten up by taxes. If you’re returning to an existing job, you need only look at an old pay stub or last year’s tax return. If you’re looking for a new job, you’ll need to figure how just how much tax you’ll pay. Here is a terrific and easy-to-use calculator.

CHILD CARE. The next biggie is paying someone to do at least part of the job you’d be doing if you stayed home. You can hire a nanny, pay for out-of-home childcare or, if you’re really lucky, rope your parents into being all things to your kids while you’re off in the mines. There’s a cost to it all, and you’ve got to figure out what that cost will be for your family.

TRANSPORTATION. You’ll have to be able to get to and from work. If you live further than walking distance to where you work, it could be as inexpensive as public transportation, or as expensive as a plane-ride. (I know a woman who lived on the west coast and commuted to Toronto to work for two years!) If you’re driving, you’ll have to not only figure out the cost of gas, but the additional wear and tear on the car, resulting in a higher maintenance costs. Don’t forget the additional trips to and from your childcare provider.

CLOTHES. If you have to maintain a “professional” appearance at work, what’s it going to cost to keep you shod? If you’re carrying a lot of baby-weight, are you going to need a whole new work wardrobe? After I had Alex, I went from being a size 8 to a 14. My feet grew two sizes, my head grew two sizes. NOTHING fit. And I took no pleasure from having to spend a ton of money to have a new set of clothes in my cupboard.

DRYCLEANING. Yup, if you’re wearing a Power Suit to work, it’ll have to be cleaned once in a while.

FOOD. I know, I know, you’ll take your lunch to work. But you should also budget for the occasional lunch out, the occasional coffee with the chicks at work, the occasional birthday celebration. That stuff happens. If you pretend it doesn’t, it’ll bite you in the budget.

GIFTS. Speaking of birthdays, let’s not forget the presents you’ll be chipping in on, or the charitable donations you may be expected to make as part of belonging to that work community.

HOUSEKEEPING. If you’re both back to work full time with a new s’mebody to look after, will you need to hire someone to do the vacuuming? Even if it’s twice a month, it’s an expense for which you need to budget.

LOST WAGES. If you’re both working, someone’s going to have to take time off if baby gets sick. Will one or the other of you get docked if you have to take the occasional day off to stay home with a sick child?

Okay, that’s the money. But there’s another equation you have to think about… the happiness equation. If you love the work you do, that’ll go in the pro column. If you’re doing a job just for the money, your motivation to leave your baby will be very low. If you’ve worked out the money thang, and it says GO BACK but you hate your job, you hate your boss, you hate your commute, you hate… well, you get my drift, it may be time to think about making money some other way.

There are lots of people who change careers, develop new skills (while off with baby in that first year), upgrade their skills. There are people who find ways to work a full week in three days, so they’re home four days with baby. There are couples who work off-shift, so one or the other parent is home with the kids. There are tons of ways to have the life you want. But you have to think about it. You have to plan.

When I had my kids I hired a nanny to come into my home. Miss Sharon was FABULOUS. My kids loved her to death and she stayed with us for seven years while I worked from home. When the kids were in school, she’d help around the house. She made my life very comfortable. But there were times when I was working only to pay Miss Sharon… there wasn’t much else left. Since I knew I couldn’t be completely out of the workforce and ever hope to work again, this was the price I paid. Willingly. With foreknowledge and a plan for the future.

That’s what you want to do… create the foreknoweldge so whatever you do, you do willingly and with a plan for the future. It’s a big decision. Good luck with it.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 1st, 2008 at 8:15 pm and is filed under Money Management, Smart Money. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.