Are You Ready to Change?
People are always writing to me to ask for help. They want a private consultation. They don’t want to go on TV. Oh well. The only way you get me is on TV (since y’all are broke and could never afford my fee, even if I did take clients), so if you don’t want to do that, you’re SOL! Or you could just follow all the advice I give on TV and on my website and do it for yourself. Or you could get yourself an advisor and let her/him help you figure out what you’re doing wrong.
I find that most of the people who are determined to do something about their crappy financial lives DO SOMETHING about their crappy financial lives. They don’t moan, wring their hands, wail, complain, blame someone else, make excuses or whine. They get busy.
If I had a buck for every person I’ve heard say, “Well, we’ve tried, but we just don’t have enough money,” I’d never have to work again. (Yes, I HAVE to work. TV stardom doesn’t mean I’m wealthy, contrary to what some people believe.) So what is it with all the people who know their lives suck and just aren’t willing to do what it takes to make things better?
If you spend every cent you make, and then some, it may be that you’re just very good at spending money. You have a car that’s less than 5 years old. You have a house that’s bigger and better than the one you grew up in. You have expensive hobbies. You love to travel. You loooove to shop.
Ya know, there are people out there who, despite making a modest income, manage to squirrel away enough money to build up a decent nest egg. They have an emergency fund. They have some money set aside for their kids’ schooling. And they set aside the money they want to spend on new acquisitions or vacations BEFORE they put those purchases on their credit cards, so they can pay off their balances in full every month.
And there are people who have realized it’s time to pay for past mistakes: they suck it up, cut back on their spending, get another job, all in the name of getting their debt paid off so they can get back on track.
Do you realize how much of a difference even trimming your budget by $200 a month can make? But ask a princess to give up her cleaning lady and watch her brow furrow. Ask her knight in shining armour to give up digital cable and watch him shake his head furiously. Ask them both to give up their cell phones and you might just as well have asked them to lop off their left legs.
Ask either of them to get more work and you’ll hear a million excuses for why that won’t work. Family Responsibilities is one of my favorites. So you don’t have a responsibility to protect your children from your stupid financial mess and the disasters it will ultimately bring? Hmmm. The I-can’t-find-a-job excuse is another I hear regularly. I’ve had people tell me, “I sent out 20 resumes and even called two companies, but nobody is hiring right now.” Really? Or maybe they’re just not willing to hire anybody who won’t even put in the effort of TRYING to get the job.
And then there’s my absolute favorite: I don’t have time. Gee, you have time to shop. You have time to watch TV. You have time to talk on the phone, go to the gym, have a beer with the lads. But you don’t have time to make the money you need to get out of debt? Maybe what you don’t have is a sense of what’s really important.
People don’t want to do without. They believe they are entitled to the luxuries they see other people enjoying. They believe there must be some mystery-solution that will fix the problem FAST! So they say dumb things like, ”Can’t you just give me a budget that’ll make everything work?” Really? A Magic Budget? One that will balance without having to cut back on anything or generate any more money? Hmmm.
The only thing that’s going to get anyone out of a financial mess is to stop doing the BAD and start doing the GOOD:
- Stop spending money you don’t have.
- Stop flying by the seat of your pants.
- Stop making excuses.
- Start living within your means.
- Start taking responsibility for your past mistakes.
- Start making changes: pay more off your debt, save
And stop whining. It’s your life and you can make it anything you want it to be. If it sucks, you may have had a little something to do with that.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Here, here!
Well put, Gail (as always!).
May 30th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Ha ha - I was just having a little whinge this morning about this very thing! I’m far better than I was, but I know there are still things I can cut back on. I already have two jobs, and am building up several savings accounts quite nicely. Part of each paycheque is earmarked for my debts, and part for each account. It’s a little slow, but very satisfying to see the accounts go up and the debt go down.
And STILL have money left over in the jars……
May 30th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
As always, you’re right on the money (pun intended).
May 30th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Three Cheers for GAIL!!!!!
No one “tells it like it is” better than you!
My dad used to call me lazy, and it’s the truth in a lot of ways. I am too lazy to get a second job…. so I try extra hard to live within my means so I don’t have to! (LOL) I am also too lazy to go shopping…. I’d rather be reading your blog, or clucking away with the other moms at the playground. (Please don’t tell me how easy it is to on-line shop, I won’t do it).
So hip-hip-hooray for Gail. Listen up all you busy-body shopaholics and leisure spenders!!!! She has told you how to fix it and the rest is up to how bad you want it!!!!
May 30th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
There should be a short questionnaire before people are allowed to post on the “Have Your Say” portion of your site.
-Have you read the rest of the site (and blog) first to make sure your question hasn’t already been answered, and there aren’t already numerous resources that people seem to keep asking for (spreadsheets, etc)?
If Yes:
-No you haven’t. Go read it and find the resources first.
If Yes: (2nd time)
-It doesn’t matter where X goes in your budget column, as long as YOU know where it is included. The percentages don’t matter so much as making sure there is enough money to cover what it needs to cover. Does this answer your question?
If No:
-Can this question be answered by visiting your bank’s website?
If No, you may still ask a question or comment, so long as it is not “Can you come to Bulgaria/New Zealand/Mars and fix my finances?” or “You should have follow-up shows”.
May 31st, 2008 at 12:51 am
Finally, this is the heart of it. Most of people’s money problems boil down to two things: ignorance and laziness. The responsibility is on you to fix your situation - and that means making a lifestyle adjustment. Debt is just like being on a diet - you have to make long-term life changes to lose weight and keep it off. Don’t make changes and you fail.
Bottom line is that there’s TONS of resources and info available on this site and all over the place. I love how Gail called it the “magic budget” fix that everyone is looking for. Doesn’t exist people.
May 31st, 2008 at 8:28 am
Well said Gail.
Sometimes we just have to hear the truth to accept responsibility for our own actions.
It’s easy to get stressed about expenses, about affordability & the cost of living.
Yes, the cost of EVERYTHING is going up. It’s frustrating and can get stressful BUT we don’t NEED EVERYTHING.
There are tons of things I want but I know I don’t need them all so I’m making a list of what is important to me and checking them off as I can afford them/save for them. I appreciate and value what I purchase so much more when I buy it with my money rather than my creditors money.
I’m still far from perfect with my money. I can admit that, but reading this blog daily helps me stay in the right frame of mind so I can get there.
May 31st, 2008 at 8:33 am
Amen.
Been on both ends of the spectrum, and thankfully we’re at the good end now. I ain’t going back!
-GRIN-
May 31st, 2008 at 10:50 am
Bravo Gail - tell it like it is - and we LOVE you for it! Thanks a million!
May 31st, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Responsibility for your actions.
If you want out, you will get out.
Oops! Let’s fix it. (sacrifice usually required)
If something gets you in trouble, get rid of it! (CREDIT CARDS?)
Generally, the cost of living did not go up as much in the past 20-30 years compared to the increase in what people WANT to buy.
(How many big screen TV on the show? Did anyone add it up?)
No cash, no purchase!
May 31st, 2008 at 12:14 pm
@Marie: I think you’ve just point out exactly why so many people go broke this days! In the old days, we were happy to have one TV at home. Now, you want one in the family room, and then each kid wants one in his or her room, also you want to have a “theatre” in the basement. Gee!
At the same time, I feel sorry for those people whose livelihoold depends on other people buy what they want. Only we have less and less people working so hard on their commissions in Future Shop….
May 31st, 2008 at 6:46 pm
I am just wondering if and when you will be coming out west, Edmonton in paticular as i did not realize till it was to late that you were there.
Thanks and keep doing a great job. Love your show even watch repeats and repeats again and again.
Kathy
June 1st, 2008 at 1:11 am
AMEN!
I’m fighting strong urges to sent this to my “yeah, but…” friends!!
June 1st, 2008 at 8:25 pm
I am finally changing Gail and I think it is because I immerse myself with your advice, over and over and over again…I am a slow learner for sure!
Just got finished your book and will re-read it slower over the next month, finally got to watch the Friday night shows and read your blog daily….thanks for the info on the critical illness/long term care insurance. I think the only reason I am really interested in it is because my three sons threaten to put me in the same nursing home with my ex when I get too old to care for myself so I am working hard to keep my independence! 
June 2nd, 2008 at 6:06 am
I got into debt after my husband cashed in all our assets (I don’t even know HOW he managed it!) and ran off to be with his new love, a bar girl in Bangkok. Thousands of kilometres from home and in a foreign country, all I could do was cry. The debt grew as I needed a roof over my head (our house back home had been “liquidized”) and the only place I could find that would take a credit card was a serviced apartment. After several days of tears, I had to decide what to do and I realized I could only count on myself. I worked out a budget from Gail’s website and bought some jars. It’s taken some time but I finally saved up the deposit to move to a less expensive (private) tenancy; I even had some cash to purchase a bit of cheap furniture! Now I have started to pay off those debts. One will be gone in July and the other in 20 months - or 18 if I can manage it.
BTW, my now-ex arrived on my doorstep looking for a place to stay. He had been fleeced of all the money by his “love” (he bought property but had put it in her name only Thai people can own land there). He’s back to square one without a clue how to find his feet again.
I’m reading Gail’s Woman book and David Bach’s Start Late book. I’ve also learnt that not having a cleaning lady isn’t the end of the world, just saw a repeat of the Simone episode
Every day the light at the end of the tunnel gets bigger as the sacrifices seem to get smaller.
Finally I love the way Gail’s say “stuff” on TDDUP. It’s like she’s found some dog poop on her shoe! If I ever get the urge to splurge I think of Gail saying “stuff” and dog poop! LOL
June 2nd, 2008 at 8:58 am
Well, I for one am NOT ready to change. I like to call it prioritization instead. By the end of the summer, I hope to have worked through al 12 steps of Gail’s worksheets. i don’t really know how much I spend. Once I know, then maybe I’ll find something that needs to be fixed.
That said, I have stopped using my credit card as of 2 weeks ago. Then at least I know how much I have at any one time.
Also, I have paid in advance for our August vacation. We’re renting a cottage, and the old owner had no problem with me paying her a small amount monthly, starting in February. I have never done that before, and it feels pretty good. I am really trying to have the money before I spend it.
June 2nd, 2008 at 2:01 pm
I know there are still areas I can cut back in (Im too lazy to cook every night, even though I love good food. I finally learned how to make rice and peas (thats how you say it! not the other way around people!) but for the most part, I have a good chunk of change in my savings almost 3000, and I’ve paid off my personal debt.
But I see how if I would stop being so lazy and make food for my honey and I, then I’d be able to go on vacation to see family sooner. Then I could have all the crab, fish, rice and peas, and apples i could fit in my belly! lol
btw I GOT MY GAIL BOOK today! I cant wait to crack it open!
June 2nd, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Ajana good for you! the ’stuff’ and poop comment was hilarious!
That fool!
June 2nd, 2008 at 3:42 pm
I’d like to say “Congratulations” to Ajana as well, for finding her way out of a bad place and onto such a brighter path & future!
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Peaches and Annie, thanks for your kind words. The hardest part was overcoming the shame and embarrassment I felt, and actually telling people what had happened and that I was absolutely broke! But it was quite cathartic, so I can understand why Gail makes TDDUP couples “confess” their situations to their families. We tend to worry too much about how other people will view us because when it gets down to it, it really doesn’t matter! From my very, very expensive lesson, I’ve learnt that keeping up appearances is not important, we are not our ’stuff’ and Gail rocks!
June 2nd, 2008 at 11:21 pm
This blog is incredible….Gail, you just have a way of putting things into perspective dont you…
June 3rd, 2008 at 10:26 am
Ajana what a life story. You have incredible courage and strenght to recognize and over come the situation you were in. We all live and learn {my 150 year old neighbour use to say that - bless her soul!}.
I’m proud of you! All the very best for the future Ajana.
Someone said this - if you know who - do tell please - “a woman is like a tea bag, you only know how strong she is when she is in hot water”!! How true!
Thanks!
June 3rd, 2008 at 4:48 pm
best. blog. ever.
hey folks, if you really need to get away, consider home exchange!!!
lots of great sites — just google away and discover how to save mega bucks on your holidays and live as a local, not a tourist, meet friends abroad, have a whole house, not a room — maybe even use of a car, boat, bikes, etc! For FREE.
Ajana, you go girl — I hope it goes w/out saying that the bum fends for himself!?
June 3rd, 2008 at 6:21 pm
NKM: it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said it. g
June 4th, 2008 at 9:34 am
Thanks G! You rock!
June 5th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Gail, you really are my heroine! I’m one of those people who would looooove to have you come into my life and whip me and my husband into shape - but don’t have the guts to do it on tv. So I watch your show, take notes, got some jars, and visit your website.
It is hard to do it on your own, especailly without the added incentive of a personlized budget… but it is doable.
I just wanted to thank you. It’s a pleasure to watch you on tv - my fave is when you are firm with the participants lol. And thanks for the inspiration to do something about our finances.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I have to start watching Gail again; I’ve fallen off my Big Plans wagon and am scrambling to catch up again! I GET it, but I can’t seem to DO it. It’s hard to motivate yourself when you’re single, but I am determined to get back on the right track. I’ve read American savings gurus (Dave Ramsey, but not Suze…can’t really get into Suze…) and while the fundamentals are the same, some just isn’t relevant, so it’s so awesome to have Canadian motivation, advice and information at hand with Gail.
I read daily for inspiration and motivation, and it’s great to have such a supportive, diverse group who all “know” what it’s like…
June 8th, 2008 at 10:33 am
Oh Gail - please, please come to Australia and show us how to do it too!
We are more than happy to be on tv and even happier to put our life and learning into your hands!